Just Say No?

 

Working at home and in an online business puts you in an interesting position. Often people will assume that since you are home, or since you are showing as “online”, you are available – or free to do favors.

Those favors can stack up on you, both in business and in your personal life… “Can you run an errand for me? Would you review my ebook? Can you watch Susie for a couple of hours? Will you show me how to do this? Let’s have lunch. Can you chat?”

I’m one of those people that has a hard time saying “No”. I love to help out anytime that I can, and given the time and opportunity most people would prefer to say “Yes” 100% of the time. I would, of course – saying no is no fun…

This has been on my mind quite a bit lately, particularly with the school year in full swing and the upcoming holiday season – which keeps me busy both online and offline. Ironically I ran into a great article and an interesting forum discussion yesterday – both on this very topic.

The article was featured on Yahoo’s home page and titled Just say no at work. The author quotes Susan Newman, of “The Book of No: 250 Ways to Say It — And Mean It and Stop People-Pleasing Forever” (featured at the top right of this post).

The article offers 4 tips for increasing your productivity and decreasing your stress level. Excellent advice in my opinion – defiinitely worth a quick read.

Right after running across that article, I logged on to the Warrior Forum and found this thread: How Far Do You Go For Your IM Friends? Steven talks about being overwhelmed with favors and requests… while his own productivity suffers for each “yes”.

Serendipity, perhaps? At the very least, both sources gave me much to consider. Having been in business for more than a decade, the issue is nothing new to me. I screen my calls, turn off instant messaging programs, and balance my “yes” and “no” the best that I can.

There are times when doing a favor or responding to a request can be highly benefical to both parties. But instead of shooting off a quick Yes, you have to analyze each “opportunity” and determine the best response. It may not even be yes or no – but simply “not now”.

The key to maintaining your schedule – and your sanity – is to know your priorities and to allocate your time as efficiently as possible. There are those times that something new will come up that will have you re-prioritizing your day or your task list – and that’s okay. As long as you are in tune with your objectives you can be as flexible as you need to be.

For example, I might have my day lined up down to the minute to work on the updates for an affiliate site. But getting notice on an incredible JV Opportunity causes me to pause and reconsider… Depending on the details of that opportunity, versus the importance of my site updates, I can shift things around and make it happen.

On another day I might have a deadline that I am working against, and knowing me I’m probably pushing the limits on procrastination (no kidding). My “friend” Barbara asks me to watch little Susie – at the last minute, no less – while she has lunch with friends. This is the same friend that never answers her phone if I call, and never returns the favor.

It takes some practice (for most of us) to be both kind and firm: “I would if I could, but I cant break away this morning – I have a deadline to meet.” But you probably already know what Barbara’s response will be… “You’re just going to be at home anyway, so cant she just stay there? I’ll tell her to be good.”

A friend who doesnt take no for an answer, and is never available to give you a yes, is not a friend. And being a nice person (or a “people pleaser”) is only going to win you friends (and even peers and business associates) just like Barbara.

Going out of your way to help others attracts people to you that need you to go out of your way for them.

I still ocassionally struggle with the “No” myself, even after years of practice and tons of good advice. But I do know my limits, and I do make it a point to carefully consider each opportunity and request that comes my way.

Working together is what makes the world go ’round. There is nothing better than close friends and peers that you can count on, and also having the opportunity to contribute to someone else’s happiness or success. But do take a moment to consider both your priorities and your limits, and consider the best way to handle your own yes/no balance.

You can go broke helping others succeed. You can succeed at others’ expense. Or you can pursue mutually beneficial relationships in both your personal and professional circles, and work together to rise to the top…

Best,

Category: Work at Home