“You Are Exactly Where You Want To Be”

The picture to the right is of me, taken in 2001, just over 6 years ago. I had to dig through my archive of digital files to find that photo. And when I did, I sat and stared at it for a long moment. Yup, that was me.

I feel so far removed from that place and time in my life, yet I remember precisely how I felt - and why.

What started this little mental journey today? It was a blog post that reminded me of that exact moment in time. And it was a post written to me directly...

Counting Down to 2008 by Deb

You may remember Deb from the Confessions From An Internet Marketing Wanna-be conversation here on ClickNewz. Since then Deb and I have had opportunity to interact a bit more, swap a few emails, and she was also logged in to this weeks Webinar.

Her blog post to me was in response to the topic of that webinar: "Planning ahead for 2008"...

So counting down to the end of yet another year and having to face where I am compared to where I’d like to be is NOT a pleasant experience. (source)

That is the piece that specifically struck a chord with me, and took me on a mental journey today - back to 2001. Seven years ago I found myself in a set of circumstances beyond my control. That was the year I went through a major turning point, and set out on the path I am on today.

While I was self-employed in a career I enjoyed, and working from home full time already by then, other aspects of my life were not so positive. I was one year outside of an unexpected divorce and my son was very ill, just to give you the tip of the iceberg.

I had a friend say to me "You are exactly where you want to be in your life." Ha! I most certainly was not! But you are, he said, because you took every step to get exactly where you are.

I could defend myself on that point all day long. But the more annoyed and defensive I became, the more I realized one thing: I may not have held the reigns up to this point... but I certainly can from this point forward.

Its not easy to change your mindset from "victim of circumstance" to "in complete control". And it's not something that happens overnight. But all it takes is one tiny seed to begin that transformation. Or in my case, a rotten realization and a 'well screw that. I'll show you!' attitude.

And I did. Not that anybody was looking, but in the end I impressed the one person that mattered the most: myself.

One small accomplishment leads to another, building confidence and slowly changing that mindset you once held so firmly. Knowing it is possible is not enough. Knowing you can do it is not enough. Taking small steps of definitive action and seeing results... is where real change begins to happen. It starts internally, manifests itself into actions, and gains momentum - until you find yourself on a steady roll in the right direction.

You dont have to change your life overnight. And besides, you cant. But you do have to get a clear vision of your dream, and then figure out what it would take to turn that dream into a reality. And from there, you must take action on it every single day - no matter how small.

I'm living another great example of this as we speak. Almost 3 years ago, I decided I'd like to buy a home. I was not in a position to do it at the time, but was determined to make that happen before my 35th birthday.

Being a single woman with 2 children, it's a huge commitment. Not just financially, but in many other ways as well. But at my age, I'm ready to settle down - married or not.

I had leftovers of my divorce on my credit report. I had lived a debt-free lifestyle since my divorce - which was great for me, but not good on paper. So having zero current or recent history, and some remants of negative history, I was not going to get the interest rate I wanted. I could buy, but not on terms I felt good about. And that of course affected what range I could shop in, among other things.

So what to do? Settle for less than I wanted? Nah... I decided exactly what I wanted, and exactly what it would take to get there. For the next couple of years I paid off old debt (talk about cobwebs!) and took steps towards building positive credit. At the same time, I increased my income and mapped out a plan for a comfortable and consistent future.

These things dont happen overnight. They take time. But time is the one thing we ALL have.

My 35th birthday is in June 2008. All this time I had been hoping to start the process by March or April and find a home to commit to. The perfect house fell in my lap just last week, and I put in an offer yesterday. If all goes well, I may be closing on it by the 2nd week of January.

If I had just wished and wanted, and not taken the action I did over those 2 years, I would not be ready to take this final step. But I did. And I am. And I cant begin to tell you how GREAT that feels!

Nobody wants to wait 2 years for something they want today. But if you dont start taking action on it today, you will still be in the exact same position 2 years from now.

Deb said: And still I am not published as I would like to be. That is to say, I have not published “The Great American Novel.” I’ve published other things, but somehow they don’t measure up to my dream and probably never will.

Its interesting how many points where our lives parallel each other, Deb. One of my driving goals is to become a published author as well (and not at all on the topic people know me for online).

I suggest that you put your goals down on paper - today - and that you map out the steps it will take to turn your dream into a reality. Can you do it in 2008? Can you do it by 2010?

Figure that out, and then take action towards it every single day.

It doesnt matter if you can only commit half an hour each morning to your life dream, or if you can set aside 90 minutes every evening. It doesnt matter how small or seemingly insignificant the steps are. The point is that you move in that direction, consistently... and persistently.

I'm making that suggestion based on my own experience. I'm no expert in that department, but I can tell you that it worked for me. Looking back to where I was, being where I am now, and looking ahead to where I am going... its rather humbling.

I dont pretend to be some genius superwoman with special powers. And I'm certainly not priveledged in any way. And while I worked hard to make positive change in my life, I still dont believe hard work alone will get you where you want to be.

There's some other power at work. Its been called many things. And there are plenty of books written on the topic. One of my favorites happens to be a classic by Napoleon Hill titled Think and Grow Rich. You can download a free copy at that link - and I would highly recommend you take the time to read it and live by the outline it offers.

Another of my favorites is of course the Bible. If you're familiar with the Parable of the Talents, it illustrates a lesson in obligation and responsibility. Whatever 'talent' you were 'given', obligates you to live up to the responsibility of that talent.

You are fortunate Deb, in that you already know what your talent is. The challenge is to manifest it into what it is to become, while making your way through this obstacle course called LIFE. Not an easy feat, but then I dont think it was meant to be.

I look back at the woman I was 7 years ago, and my heart goes out to her. I wish I could go back in time and tell her to hold her head high and stay the course. That all would work out thanks to her determination. Not to worry, and not to doubt, but to just keep going.

Instead, I make it a point to share that message with others when I can. Thank you for giving me that opportunity today, and also for reaching out and initiating a connection with me. I've enjoyed getting to know you and look forward to continuing to do so.

Best,

About Lynn Terry

Lynn Terry is a full-time Internet Marketer with over 17 years experience in online business. Subscribe to ClickNewz for the latest Internet Marketing trends & strategies, Lynn's unique case studies, creative marketing ideas, and candid reviews...more»

Discussion

  1. Duane Ford says:

    Wow!
    I haven't been following your forum as well lately as I have in the past and missed this one. Thankfully, you linked to it in your sswt newsletter.
    I've paid for "Inspirational Books" which didn't inspire me as much as this post and some of the comments to it.
    Lynn, you know I'm a follower of you (and a fan). This post pretty much sums up why. You are always honest, down-to-earth and go out of your way to be helpful. I'm very glad I found you. Your practical tips and guidance both here and on the sswt forum have been the most valuable help I've found in my quest to become an Internet Marketeer.
    Thanks for the post Lynn and all who contributed. Reading this has been a memorable occasion.

  2. Thank you, Duane... 🙂

  3. Laurie Neumann says:

    Lynn,

    What a great post. Challenging yet encouraging.

    I bought my son "Your Best Life Now" for Christmas. I plan on reading it myself. It sounds like it's going to talk about the same principles you have mentioned.

    Thanks for sharing.

  4. Ahh - Joel Osteen... I'm actually not a fan of his work (sorry). I'll send you an email 😉

  5. I'm SO glad you said that Lynn!!!!

  6. Lynn,

    My dear friend, you are brilliant, hard-working and determined. I look forward to seeing a NEW picture of you....one of you and your family in your NEW HOME!

    Go do it!

    fabman

  7. Lynn amazing post, I think the key for success is passion for what you do.

    Do what you love and yes the money will come, it might take some time and hard work but people will feel your passion it is contagious.

  8. John Dilbeck says:

    Hi Lynn,

    Thanks for including a link to this thread in your email.

    The entire thread is inspirational and I can relate to the hard work it takes to change your life and act on your dream.

    I believe life is our chance to create the reality we want and to constantly expand and grow. Along the way, we get the opportunity to help others, even if it is just a few words of encouragement or glimpses into our own personal successes.

    I learned several decades ago that people will put up with things they hate until the energy it takes to continue that life is much more than the energy it will take to change and go in a different direction.

    Some of us get mad, some feel other things, but it's like a huge weight is lifted the moment we commit to changing and moving in a direction we really want to go.

    That doesn't mean that every step along the path will be easy. There will be obstacles and set-backs, but those problems we encounter help us to grow as we find ways to overcome them.

    I applaud everyone who is taking stock of their current situations and then deciding what they really want. Once you know what you want, it's so much easier to plan how to get there.

    I, too, have read Think and Grow Rich many times and I have learned something valuable almost every time I read it. That's a great suggestion.

    Best of luck to everyone on achieving your goals. Never give up and, as Lynn suggests, take action every single day to move yourself closer to where you want to be.

    Happy new year, everyone. May 2008 be your best year yet; filled with health, happiness, and prosperity.

    Act on your dream!

    JD

  9. Anthony Hosking says:

    My dear Lynn, you are an inspiration to everybody both old and new. I have known you for about a year now and have seen you go from strength to strength. Always there for your friends and fellow marketers. You had a goal, you set to it and now you have your dream. A very big congratulations to you. Other people should take a leaf from your book. Truly inspiring effort.

    Anthony

  10. SuperSimpleGuy says:

    Hi everyone!

    Congratulations Lynn! I'm happy for you, and I'm happy for the people who receive inspiration from you, because you are a sincere and wonderful woman : )

    Being a hard perfectionist, I'll say this: Never let your perfectionism block you from creating what you want, never say "it is not good enough", don't ever think it!

    What ever you are planning to create, to achieve, just believe in it, see the positive, see everything that is possible to do VS what is not: possibilities are the winner, and the most powerful ally.

    Am I where I want to be? Not yet, but working in it : )

    My advice: network with successful people, go meet them, get to know creative people, make friends who are successful, who made what you'd like to make, observe them, see what you can do yourself, alone, or in partnership with them, be open minded, have a positive mindset, and have faith.

    A "COOL" faith in yourself, a well established certainty in the uniqueness of your abilities, is the key to your way towards where you want to be.

    Stop listening to people who tell you "you can't". Because they are lying to themselves in the first place, they fear what you are doing because they don't have a clue about what it is all about.

    Stop thinking that you can't do some things, simply because they are absolutely possible! And just start doing the little things that are the easiest to do and that have the most immediate outcome (positive outcome, preferably lol)

    I was going to tell you: Read, read and read about everything you need to know about in order to build your dream, that can be extremely helpful, but there is something else that can help you tremendously, once again: meet-successful-people. Keep in touch with them, get inspiration from them, follow their advice, learn what you can avoid right from the beginning, instead of loosing money and TIME!! I don’t remember who said this: “Time is your most valuable asset” but it’s really true when you learn to profit from it the best way that is possible to you. Certainly a simple question of ongoing optimization.

    Use the experience of others, and don't forget: cut any expenses, it really doesn't have to cost you money, save your money for other needs. I don't mean that you can't make huge success by investing money in some costly coaching/mentoring programs, but, I mean make an internal work over yourself first, you can do it, you deserve to discover it, and you WILL do it, just because you are here reading/listening/feeling Lynn's voice.
    And finally, let Lynn guide you, she is really a wonderful person, and even if I never met her, I can feel it: I trust her 1000%!!!
    Wish you the coolest days possible in your life ; )
    K'

  11. Wonderful advice and very well put! Thank you too for the kind words - very much appreciated 🙂

    One thing I would like to add, for anyone who feels they arent exactly where they want to be in life: You are in the right place when you know exactly where you stand, and exactly where you're going from there. Knowing where you stand, and knowing what you want to accomplish, being the key.

    Create a plan, and then work it. That in itself will make you happier than you can imagine!

  12. Hi Lynn,

    One thing for sure, when I found your site -if I'm not mistaken- from twitter, I felt a little bit different. And when I started received your email, I knew that it was a huge different than others.

    To tell the truth, I have bombarded with so many emails nothing more than promoted at the end, but only yours that I appreciated a lot. Thank you for sharing your inspirational story.

    Kikie

  13. Rat Race Slave says:

    Hi Lynn,

    Thanks for an inspiring post. I'm sure you have touched the lives of a lot of people too.

    I am currently working at an information technology company. A lot of people might say that I am lucky to have the position and salary that I have in a short time. It is exactly where I wanted to be few years ago but I really worked hard to get to where I am today.

    However, as I moved up the corporate ladder, I no longer like what I am seeing. I didn't like the lifestyle and office politics to name a few. I now want to be financially free and be able to work smart. I am now trying my way out of the rat race by studying the internet. I hope to be good as you someday. 🙂

  14. You bring up such an interesting point, 'Slave'. It really pays to look ahead and analyze people who are in the exact position that you want to be. If at all possible, talk to them and find out what their life is really like in that position.

    I know that I spent many years working *hard*, even at my own business - long hours, resolving mistakes, getting established, etc, etc, etc. But in the end, I can say it was all worth it.

    Again, great point - make sure you can see your end goal clearly, and envision exactly what your life will be like when you reach it.

  15. Working from home is a dream life for many and you able to do that at so early stage of your life. I guess, you are lucky in this. Living debt free life is also a miracle for many. I can picture myself in your shoes on having a goal to buy a house with 2 child and working as single mother. It is a nightmare. Well, looks like you able to pull it trough especially during economic crisis. You are a good example of setting a practical goal.

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