stig·ma - A mark of discredit.
I read an interesting article on one of the Yahoo! Blogs earlier today about the various roles of parenting in our generation (see: Super Moms - Time to Revaluate). The author brought up some interesting points about today’s choices in parenting and careers…
“We’re the generation of women that can do anything, and therefore must do everything.” The pressure is on us to do it all — to be the “super mom.”
She goes on to address the way women are looked down on for choosing to stay home full-time, and how others are looked down on for choosing to pursue a career outside the home. She even mentions stay-at-home fathers and the stigma that they endure. I was particularly glad to see her mention this, as it is becoming more and more common for fathers to take an active role in managing the home and raising the children these days.
At any rate, she didnt really address the issue of work-at-home moms - or work-at-home parents, I guess I should say. While more people are choosing to work from home, and it is becoming at least ‘understood’ in a general sense, you have to admit that there is still a certain ‘label’ (even if unspoken) associated with at-home careers.
I’m curious what your thoughts are on this, and how you handle that odd look that you get when you respond to the oft asked question, “So, what do you do?”
Of course we’re all familiar with the ‘elevator speech’ and have (likely) also learned to ‘dumb it down’ in some fashion to at least get through these conversations without sounding crazy or making their eyes glaze over…
But “other people” still just generally don’t get it. Sometimes even our own parents or closest friends. Fortunately, I can say that my mother ‘gets it’ and is very supportive and encouraging… though there are others in my life that think, as Chrissie puts it, that I “play on the computer all day”.
Does that bother you? Do you find yourself on one side of the fence or the other, in regards to how you view others for their choices? Even if you dont, how do you feel about the way you are viewed by others for your own parenting & career choices?
Tags: work at home, wahm, elevator speech, parenting, stigma, stay at home moms
11 responses so far ↓
Stephanie // May 1, 2006 at 10:53 am
It took the longest time for my mother-in-law to understand that real money could be earned from home even when I had a job as a medical transcriptionist. When I started making websites, she thought I was nuts! That mostly changed when I started outearning my husband, except now she’s worried all the money will just vanish.
On my side of the family, they’re more supportive. I’ve helped one of my sisters and my brother-in-law start websites, but neither one works hard enough to get anywhere so far. For my sister it shouldn’t be lack of knowledge about working at home… she’s the one who got me started in transcription in the first place!
Lynn Terry // May 1, 2006 at 11:07 am
Personally, I think that it takes a lot of discipline and motivation to work from home full time - to set long term goals, and to stick with them long enough to see a return on your investment.
From that perspective, it would seem that successful entrepreneurs who work from a home office would deserve a greater amount of respect than they do (in general).
But then, “we” are the only ones who truly know ‘what is going on behind closed doors’, as they say. From the outside it seems to have the reputation as a glorified way of saying ‘I dont want to get a real job’.
It’s the furthest thing from the truth, of course, as we all know that it takes more time, energy and dedication (at least initially) to set up and manage a business than it does to “work a job”.
In the end, I think that the majority of the controversy stems from each person trying to validate the reasons why they do what they do (quit their job, put their kids in daycare, etc) — things that they have personal guilt over. Perhaps more of a ‘defense’ than it is a legitimate dislike for the other options that are out there…
- Lynn
p.s. Thanks for posting, Stephanie! Glad to see you here
Rick Wilson // May 1, 2006 at 11:34 pm
Hi Lynn!
Some GREAT points! I still find myself figuring out how to tell people that don’t know me what I actually do. I’m not good at “elevator speech”. LOLOL
You mentioned, “From the outside it seems to have the reputation as a glorified way of saying ‘I dont want to get a real job’.”
Maybe it sounds kinda bad but that was the WHOLE purpose of the exercise for me … I DIDN’T want to get what most people call a “real” job! I wanted to do something that gave me alot of flexibilty, free time and working online solved that problem. It drives my friends and some in my family nuts. Fear of the unknown, I guess.
The Corporate world just wasn’t gonna do it for me anymore. Didn’t get the “CorpRebel” handle for nothing, Lynn! heh heh heh
AND CONGRATS on your ClickNewz! stats … Your ClickNewz! is soooo kool & informative. Your good reputation is WELL deserved.
Have A GREAT Week!
Rick Wilson aka CorpRebel
Lynn Terry // May 1, 2006 at 11:46 pm
Thank you, Rick
You’re too kind!
I was very unhappy in my last “real job” (1996) for a number of reasons, so I can relate to that. I started the first business as a means of breaking out of a hopeless cycle, and with the intention of being closer with my children and raising them in a better way.
I’m glad that I did that. I cant imagine what my life would be like otherwise.
-Lynn
Andrew Peacock // May 2, 2006 at 6:29 am
Here’s a funny story on a slightly related issue:
I’m in full time employment and do all this webby-techy-stuff in my spare time. Plus I also get to work at home in my day job if I need to.
So a few weeks ago, I was spending the day at home, with my girlfriend on maternity leave. We went for a walk at lunchtime with our boy, and split up after a bit, as I had to go to a couple of shops and then get back to work, and she was going on for a bit longer walk as it was a nice day.
On the way back home, I bumped into a work-colleague/friend of hers who I’ve met before - she was on her lunch break from work, which is only a few minutes from our home.
We were chatting away, and she asked if I had the day off. “No”, I said, “I’m working at home”.
She went into the whole, “oh,yes, working at home, nudge nudge, wink wink” routine.
I was so flabbergasted, that my best retort didn’t come to me till later…
“Yes, I might be working at home, but I’m still allowed a pigging lunch-break!!!!”
Andy
Lynn Terry // May 2, 2006 at 7:34 am
… what a prime example…
By the way, I’ve seen some of your work and I’m impressed to find out that you do what you do while still holding a full time job in addition to that!
-Lynn
Kelly McCausey // May 3, 2006 at 7:28 am
I haven’t met up with any negativity about my full time work at home status - but most people are pretty confused about what I do.
Internet Radio? Wha? Podcasting? Wha? Affiliate Marketing Wha?
It usually all boils down to, ‘But you’re making good money then?’
Oh yes - I am
Well good! That’s what matters isn’t it? Good for you.
Lynn Terry // May 3, 2006 at 7:55 am
There ya go
I dont generally run into a lot of people offline that dont already know me, but when I do and they ask I generally just say “I work online, what do you do?” and shift the conversation back at them.
Glad you stopped by, Kelly!
Ellen // May 3, 2006 at 10:33 am
I always stumble over the phrase “I work out of my home” which means I work IN my home for the most part. I think people who know me socially don’t quite get what I do. People I work with don’t think they could do the “at home” thing, but I love it. I take lunch breaks too, Andy!
Dan Reinhold // May 3, 2006 at 10:46 am
I say I’m a writer working at home.
Of course, then I hear, “Really?? Fiction or nonfiction???”
That’s when I smile and say, “Depends.”
Dan
P.S. The biggest laugh of all about working at home is that it’s actually the oldest form of work in history. People only started going TO work in the 18th century!
Lynn Terry // May 3, 2006 at 11:15 am
True, Dan - and a great point!
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