Confession: I'm Not Perfect. Not Even Close.
I don't have all the systems in place. I don't have everything figured out. I miss deadlines.
Things fall through the cracks. I'm not exactly where I wanted to be by now - in a lot of areas including "being in shape."
But guess what? I am a shape. For all the things that fall through the cracks, tons more actually gets done. Things may not get done perfect, or with an ideal system in place, but I get them done anyway. I do my best - even though I know I could improve, and do dramatically better.
And I intend to. Improve, that is. Consistently. In fact, I'm always working in that direction. Not that I'll ever reach a state of perfection, or that it's even a goal. I don't even like perfect people. 😛 But I do ultimately want to be the best version of ME that I can possibly be.
But I'm not there now. Not today. Probably not tomorrow or next week even. And who knows, maybe I'll never get it all exactly right, but why stop trying?
Every year I become a better person, and my business grows more and reaches more people, and as long as every year is better than the last... why not at least enjoy what IS better, even if it's not "best" - right?
Perspective, Perception & Negative Self-Talk
What's interesting is that if I stop looking at the faults I have right now, and look back at myself a year ago - or five years ago, even ten years ago - I realize (WOW!) just how far I have come. How much I have achieved, and how much I have moved my life in the direction I wanted it to go. That changes my perspective!
It's bad enough that we have to deal with our own (sometimes shortsighted) self perspective, but add in the perceptions of others (which are sometimes not too kind) and it's easy to fall in the habit of viewing ourselves as "less than".
Less than who we want to be, less than what others are...
I make less money than ___.
I am not as young/attractive as ___.
I am not as organized as ___.
I'm not as successful as ___.
I didn't start as early as ___.
I'm not as outgoing as ___.
I have different circumstances than ___ that make it harder for me.
Some of that may be true.
In fact, I can fill in every single one of those blanks!
You may not be in the same position I am, in that you don't have a history of growth and improvement that you're proud of, that improves your perspective. But I'm not in the same position as others who are ahead of me either. It's like a ladder and we're all on it: there will always be people ahead of you and people behind you!
So what? All that matters is you - and your goals.
You are here. So am I. We are exactly where we are. We can't compare ourselves to where we should be, or compare ourselves to others. We can only embrace where we are, decide where we want to go, and move in that direction. Period.
“Man must cease attributing his problems to his environment, and learn again to exercise his will – his personal responsibility.” -Albert Einstein
I'm a true introvert. I used to be painfully shy, to the point of breaking a sweat around people, but fortunately I overcame that - which took work, of course.
I still get nervous when I publish a blog post, go to an event and meet new people, host a webinar, or (ack!) have to speak on stage. Sometimes to the point of being physically sick. But I do it anyway.
I look back at my first year of blog posts and cringe. I'm in my 10th year of blogging now, and it's still not perfect but my writing and formatting has really improved with time and practice.
Perfection Is Not Required!
If you want to make things happen in your life, the first step is to deal with the negative self-talk. Dump the doubt, uncertainty, fear, worry or whatever else holds you back. It isn't reality, it's simply perception.
Make a habit of blocking those negative thoughts (from yourself AND others) until it becomes second nature to ignore the negativity and just DO.
Disappointed in yourself, behind on things, missing goals and deadlines that were important to you, screw something up? So what! Get over it, fix it, figure out a solution, create a new goal or a new deadline - whatever it takes.
One thing I've learned is that the things that worry or stress me the most... don't seem to affect anyone else but me.
And they affect me HARD if I let them.
So I don't.
I simply step back and reevaluate, journal out the worst case scenario, and figure out a solution.
That's a choice I get to make, and it's your choice to make too.
You get to decide how you feel, how you respond or react to things in your environment, how you deal with circumstances, and what you do with your time.
It's your life! And you only get ONE.
“A sign of wisdom and maturity is when you come to terms with the realization that your decisions cause your rewards and consequences. You are responsible for your life, and your ultimate success depends on the choices you make." -Denis Waitley
My advice: Put yourself out there! Whatever you're doing, you'll improve with experience. You'll never be great until you get your hands dirty and figure things out as you go. So go! Forget what everyone else is doing, how well they're doing, how smart or organized or fast they are - and just BE YOU 100%.
I encourage you to be ambitious. To do something outrageous. Do something that shocks yourself, even. With all your imperfections, quirks, shortcomings, and circumstances even. Because hey, I have them too! You're not alone. The only difference between you and someone that is "better than you" (in your mind) is that they pushed past those perceived barriers. Because we ALL have them.
It's time to make serious change in your life. Whatever it is you REALLY want to do... put it in motion, starting today. Regret sucks. Taking no action just means you'll continue to feel disappointed or "less than". Taking even the wrong action will get the wheels turning and get you moving in the right direction, even if it's by trial and error.
Decide today to make your life what it is meant to be.
You'll be so glad you did! 😉
Best,
"Problems do not go away. They must be worked through or else they remain, forever a barrier to the growth and development of the spirit." – M. Scott Peck
About Lynn Terry
Amen and Amen!
You are so right about this: "Taking no action just means you'll continue to feel disappointed or "less than"."
I'm DOING! I may not always do the perfect thing, but I'm DOING SOMETHING 🙂
Said from personal experience of course. 😉 I'm just like everyone else. Sometimes I really have to PUSH myself. But consistently moving forward, doing something to grow my business every day - no matter how small, is exactly what got me where I am! From one DOer to another... *cheers* 😀
Thank you Lynn for writing this amazing post. It kept me reading without any distractions. It is true that only I will suffer or stress up if I have negative thoughts.
This 2014 , I am going to follow directions given by you at Taking action is he Success Blueprint and implement it.
Taking action is my goal this year ... No excuses
I'm really glad you enjoyed the topic, James. It was on my mind for a reason. 😉 "No Excuses" - I love it!! Here's to a super successful 2014! *cheers*
Great post, Lynn! My perfectionism really used to handicap me, and still does to some amount (thank god getting older helps with that). I think it's also important to realize you can't possibly be "perfect" in everything you do. You have to choose.
I'd rather give a public speech than give a webinar though 🙂
On the topic of perfectionism, see: http://www.clicknewz.com/5485/perfectionism-trap/ This totally changed my outlook! 😉 *cheers*
This post was just what I needed today, Lynn. I was swimming in a pool of self-doubt over a big project and you helped me realize that I can do it. It may not be what I feel is perfect, but as long as my client is satisfied, I should be. Thanks for the insights!
Great to hear, Shawn! I've swam in that same pool. 😉 lol - not fun! When I'm feeling that way, I usually stop and journal out a "worst case scenario" and analyze it closely. It's never as bad as it seems when you look at it logically. Still, sometimes I just have to FORCE myself to push through and get it done, and ignore the thoughts/feelings. My take: I can always go back and edit/improve/revise. But having something finished to work with is the key. *cheers*
Wait a minute....
You're not perfect?
You mean, everything you have ever done online hasn't returned anywhere from a 768%- 1325% profit?
You mean, every webinar you've done hasn't sold out in 5 mins?
You mean, you're last product launch didn't net over 1.3 million dollars while you were on a 5 day vacation on the beach?
But...but...Nobody ever told me that online marketing instructors - cough...guru's...cough don't know it all.
Oh no, who will I listen to now...
-- Very nice post! 🙂
LOL Ethan - I love your sense of humor! 😀
Right. I'm not perfect. Not even close. And I'm not a "guru" either. 😉 lol *cheers*
Great post Lynn! This is so true! I don't know how many times I've felt out-right scared to launch a site in fear it won't do well (on the first day!). But I'm learning it takes times and a lot of failures to get to where you want to be. I'm learning to just throw it out there and see what sticks and continue to work on always improving to get to where I want to be! Thanks for this awareness!
Barb
You're definitely not alone Barb. I've been through that myself, and hear it from others all the time! Your comment reminded me of something else I hear a lot too - which is ditching a site because it's not performing to expectations after 3 months (90 days!). In most cases this is because 1) it's still new! and 2) they haven't put in 100% effort to grow their reach and increase revenue.
It's ALWAYS easier to work with what you have, than to scrap a huge investment of time and energy only to start all over again from square one. :p
Lynn,
Awesome post! Last night as I was reading, something clicked and "I got it!" I didn't read anything new or prolific or earth-shattering in any way, I just realized I'm doing what I want to do. Same thing with this post, something just "clicked". Words coming to mind are "Be afraid, and do it(your best) anyway!" Thank you!
That's great to hear, Dawn! I love when things just "click" 😀 Doing exactly what you want to be doing is an awesome thing. *cheers*
This was great to read first thing this morning, Yeah, I had a late start. I'm having issues (so far) with getting up at 5 AM and working out, I'm not perfect either! lol 😉
I'm currently working on a project that HAS to be done within the first quarter of this year...I WILL get it done! Simple, just do it, right?! Yes... 😉
I've said it before, thanks so much for your posts, guidance and excellent advice! You are a brilliant inspiration! =)
Thank you, Tammy! Your project that HAS to be done - are you "on the hook" for it? Meaning it's expected, people are signed up and waiting, or something else that has fallout if you don't meet your deadline? I find that's the BEST way for me to achieve completion. 😉 lol. *cheers*
(And I'm with you on those morning workouts - I am aiming to get back to mine as well!!)
I have to admit trying to 'never make mistakes' is a hard habit to break, but I've been getting steadily better at it! Great reminder and very inspiring post. Thanks Lynn!
Gosh, that's a lot of pressure Val! lol 😉 I'd never get anything done if I wasn't getting mistakes done along with it. haha.
Lynn, I hope you\'ve seen Dr. Brene\' Brown\'s Ted Talks (Google Ted X Houston). She talks about the epidemic we have of women, particularly, who feel \"not enough.\" Your post reminded me so much of what she addresses. It all goes back to shame, which makes us feel unworthy of love and connection. What she has to say is the most important message we hear in our lives when it comes to seeing ourselves in perspective. I know it changed my life.
I haven't seen that one, Deb. I'll have to look it up. Though I have to admit I don't really worry with those types of feelings - inadequacy or being "not enough". I think most of that is human nature, not *just* for women, and just something we have to work out and work through as we discover who we really are as a person... and what we really want out of life. Sounds like it would be a good watch regardless! *cheers*
Lynn, What a post! I have never read anything so empowering or encouraging as this... I am going to keep this nearby all the time to read and remind myself that I am--for sure--changing and getting better, and sooner or later, it IS going to happen for me too. Thank you, and wishing you and the kids a Happy, Healthy 2014! Love & Hugs, ShariLee
Thank you ShariLee! Best wishes for you this year as well. 😀 I really appreciate your feedback. Figure out your "IT" in great detail, with a strong mental image, and IT *will* happen for you. 😉 *cheers*
p.s. I don't mean that in a foo-foo "think it and it will come" kind of way. More of a practical "know what you want, and figure out the steps to make it happen" kinda way. 😀
What a timely post for me! I have been working on self improvement too and thankfully I feel good about where I am today. I am working on a big challenge in my online business -which has taken a nose dive since the end of 2011 in the search engines. I am making the choice to move forward and keep my site alive and profitable.
It's not easy. It's an internal battle not to just throw up my hands and say, Forget all this, I quit! It's good to remember that every day I have a choice about this. And I know that I cannot fail- whatever the outcome, I will be a better person for it.
Reading this is just what I needed today 🙂
I love your determination, Lisa! That along with your work ethic has impressed me about you from day one. 😉 *cheers*
Love your post Lynn. Nobody is really perfect, but if we continue to have self-pity over the things that others have that we don't, in the end we'll just end up suffering. Instead of drowning ourselves to self-pity, I guess we just have to challenge ourselves that there is so much we can do more than we think and that is the kind of mind set I want to keep this 2014.
That's a great mindset to have. 😉 Focusing on what you can do, and doing it, is SO much more productive than focusing on what everyone else is doing, and what you're not doing. Sounds so obvious, but it's human nature to think that way... and takes a bit of reprogramming and self-discipline to break through it and achieve what we want in life!
Great post Lynn! Sharing on my blog 🙂
Thank you Bernice - and thank you for the share! It was SO great to meet you in Atlanta this weekend. I look forward to staying in touch, and hopefully seeing you again at a meetup or event soon. 😀 *cheers*
Hi Lynn, two things. First off, your CommentLuv plugin is giving me fits. Stating that there's a JSON error. Something about a page cache...mumble...grble...something.
Anyway, that's not why I'm here. I loved the post! I appreciate how you lay it all in the open. None of us are perfect, but we create perfect personas in our heads: How we should be and how we perceive others. We often perceive others as being "better than" us.
You hit all the nails on the head! Thanks for being you. That's what I love.
Thank you Bill. 😀
I'll check into that plugin issue too - appreciate the heads up!
This was a read I needed to hear this morning. More like a kick in the pants!..In Aug I left a career that had taken everything out of me and my adult son's to move half way across country to help care for an aging parent. My intentions was to build my online business while I had a few months to not worry about finances. Unfortunately, not much in that department got done...I didn't realize how Trashed I felt. How everything had to be lined up first!..lol..I'm still not adjusted to my new environment..It might of been a mistake but damn it! I have a life to live and things I want to do with it! So, thanks Lynn for the reminder that things, * I * don't have to be perfect and just keep taking steps forward..
That's quite an adjustment and huge life change, Bernita! Go easy on you. 😉 That said, try taking baby steps. Micro-tasking is what I call it. Do what you can do, when you can do it, in the smallest and easiest steps possible. It doesn't ALL have to be planned out upfront.
Wishing you the best on your goals!! 😀 *cheers*
Thank you for this very encouraging post, Lynn. It's a post that I will keep coming back to, whenever I need a boost of confidence or a gentle kick in the pants. 🙂
I completely agree that "success" is a process. What concerned me in the past was that I was figuring things out while my audience was looking on. I used to think that people expected me to know it all already but I've discovered that they enjoy the process just as much.
Good point, Zori! The process is the FUN part. Even those of us that have achieved a certain level of success still consider ourselves a work in progress. I had a good discussion about that with a peer this weekend, in fact. Just be you, and go for it! *cheers*
A very heartfelt post and enlightening one.
Thank you Caroline! 😀
Lynn,
This is such a timely and courageous post!
It is the kind of post you keep coming back to when you need a kick in the butt or a motivator to help you get over the hump. I've bookmarked it and filed it under "ASS-KICKING POSTS"! 😉
I like that Bookmark folder title, lol! 😀
*cheers*
You fixed it 🙂 Thanks, Lynn
Fabulous advice, Lynn! My favorite part is "You’ll never be great until you get your hands dirty and figure things out as you go." You help me remember that it's OK to not be perfect. Thank you!
I don't think it's every okay... to BE perfect. 😉
Glad you enjoyed the post! It was a topic that was heavy on my own mind. 🙂 *cheers*
Great stuff Lynn. It's an interesting place we go to when we realize that we're not perfect and can't be. I think most people, even if they say they're not, secretly work on being perfect each and every time, and when they fail they feel miserable. I know I did for decades. At this point of my life when I make a mistake (most of the time anyway) I say to myself "You're only human; deal with it."
Then again, I still have that one regret here and there that I'll never attain a place where I'll walk into a room and have women look over and sigh at my good looks. lol Goofy as that sounds I knew a guy who was like that; friend of mine, which was quite interesting. 😉
Interesting, but also sad. It's no fun to not be happy with who you are, or ever be content with yourself - whether alone, or in a crowd. I was at such a place (not to do with admirers, lol) in my 20's, and I remember all too well how miserable that was.
Getting happy with who you are now, where you are now, or at least accepting and embracing it... is the key. Then decide who you want to be, where you want to go, and get to work! 😉 Yes? *cheers*
The message remains the same, whether is Jan. 2014 when you wrote this, or now when we are reading it. Just "DO IT!" Don't be ashamed of who you are, embrace yourself. Folks will like you for who you are, (well maybe not all, but the ones who count and are worth knowing), and you will grow and be better for it.
Exactly, Bill - bingo! 🙂
Thanks so much for this post Lynn! In a lot of ways I'm like you, too. I'm a terrible procrastinator, I've never been a perfectionist and I miss deadlines.
I'm getting the message of your post from all angles lately. I subscribed to Suzanne Myers email the other day and she sent an email today that says: Over 40. Fat. Foulmouthed. ... lol. love it. That and a couple of really good 'dealing with trolls' blog posts I've read lately make me start to believe I need to stop fearing getting past a certain point in my business and being more 'vulnerable' and just need to be getting out there more myself.
Hi Angela!
I wrote this post more than a year ago, but came across it today... and it really spoke to ME. haha - funny how that works. 🙂 I like your realization, mainly about the content you enjoy, and the concept of being more like that yourself. I get a lot of inspiration and even motivation from other sources like that as well.
We all have SO much to offer. And truly, it is our obligation in life... to do just that.
Hi Lynn,
What you wrote is really happening to me.
I stumbled, I failed, I procrastinate, I gave up sometimes and also distraction invaded my mind to fail.
This post will always be fresh to whoever reading it in 2014 or 2015 or 2020.
I am deciding today to move forward little by little even though it takes more time than others.
Thank you Lynn for the reminder to keep moving forward
It's easy to focus on everything we're doing wrong. And actually, it's good to realize what we ARE doing wrong, as that's the best way to come up with solutions. How long it takes, compared to what we expect OR compared to what others achieve, is irrelevant. The only thing that really matters is getting focused on what direction to go, and taking the action steps to get there. 🙂 *cheers*