The featured article on Yahoo grabbed my attention this evening. Actually two related articles: Marriage Loses its Edge and The Cost of Being Married vs Being Single.
The first article reports that over half of American adults are currently unmarried. Of that unwed group, the largest sector is co-habitating with other people in some fashion. The second largest sector (14 million) are households headed by single women.
14 million women running homes singlehandedly across America... Wow. Being one of them myself, I found the article of great interest. Particularly this quote:
"Overall, what I see is a situation in which people -- especially children -- will be much more isolated, because not only will their parents both be working, but they'll have fewer siblings, fewer cousins, fewer aunts and uncles," the scholar argued. "So over time, we're moving towards a much more individualistic society."
This is not just some article that I am reading about "other people". It's something that I am personally familiar with, and see all around me everywhere that I look. I'm sure that many of you can relate in one sense or another.
On the one hand, I find it incredibly sad. I think what bothers me most is wondering what the end result will be in generations to come. But at the same time, I am very happy with my life as it is and understand that for a lot of women this is a personal choice that gives them much freedom and independence.
For many others, it's a very hard life.
The second article (Costs, Married vs Single) basically threw a bunch of numbers around and came to the conclusion that 'two heads are better than one':
"...two heads are better than one. Like most any issue, finances are more easily worked out with a partner. Singles have no one to bounce things off of, while married people tend to work things out together..."
I'm not so sure that I agree with this statement. Sure, if you're a newlywed - or you were lucky enough to find yourself happily married to a best friend that communicates with you openly. But realistically - are financial issues not one of the top stressors in any relationship?
And who says "single people" have no one to bounce things off of? Maybe my situation is totally unique (ha!) but my husband was never interested in the finances and I made most (if not all) if those decisions alone while I was married. And the friends that I have now that I have been single for 7 years offer plenty in the way of "someone to bounce ideas off of" anytime I like (thank you to my friends - I love you for that!).
All said and done, I didnt walk away from these two articles with anything that I didnt already know (or feel) - outside of the actual statistics...
I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on this topic. Of course, if you're married you cant really say that you'd prefer any other situation 😉 . But if you're single - is this your preference... or do you feel your life would be easier, richer, more rewarding, etc if you found a life partner?
Having been on both sides of that fence already, I rather prefer where I am. This is one case where the grass doesnt at all seem to be 'greener on the other side'. Maybe I'm missing out on a lot of love and happiness. Maybe I'm missing out on a lot of hassle and heartache. Maybe this is just life since my husband walked out, and I'll worry about choosing another one after my children are raised. Who knows?
But it leaves me wondering if there arent better solutions for our "new generation of singles"... perhaps roommates, community housing, or something along those lines. Where everyone can enjoy the benefits of the group/family vs "isolation".
Technorati Tags: married, marriage, couples, husband, wife, divorce, single, single parents, single parenting, dating
About Lynn Terry
Terry, my father and mother extednded their habby married life since 1948 with 4 girls and 3boys. I and my wife Mallika happy with our marriage life since 1985. Thoug their is ups and downs.
Congratulations!
I love a success story! 😀
a "dialogue between two" can go on at length without reaching a consensus. My personal soliloquies generally end in either action or dismissal. Good friends, who know you well and have no vested interest in the outcome of your decisions, make excellent sounding boards. So do well matched mates.
~smile~ I vote for communal living
Yoiu offering... does that mean we can check each others stats?
😉
Not THEM stats!
Huh.. gee Lynn.. 😉
As for the "Off topic" post.
I was never married as such, as my sons mum didn't want that in life, but nevertheless our reltionship was as much as married, for seven good years.
But.. I don't regret not getting married, yet wouldn't say no if the right partner came along some time.
As for the communal living, that would be appealing in a lot of sense for myself.
I don't mind having my own space. yet I dont like being alone at times.
(The dogs with me for now..at 15 probably not much longer.)
But they would have to be good friends already.
Much as that sounds good.. I couldn't beat living with my kids.
Sadly I may have to wait till they are older..when they can choose that if they want.
But I am ok as I am as far as things go.. for now.. ;o)
Thanks for the offer though...lol ;o)
Take care.
Interesting topic for and OFF one.. ;o)
Rob
LOL Rob - I'm not sure how you read an offer in there 😉 😛
Bad ears sharp eyes...I see what I...need to see.. 😉
Or sometimes I really am seeing things!
My mum always said I had "selective" hearing... I am sure as a mum you know exactly what she meant.. 😉
Take care.
Rob
LOL, yes I am familiar with that one no doubt! 😆
At any rate, you got a laugh out of me, which is great. I always enjoy your comments, and your great sense of humor!
Best,
Lynn
Lynn,
Thanks...
Something to do with being British I think.. 😉
Laughings good.. as long as it's not AT me lol...
Take care,
Rob
Never, of course! 😀
Great... so you won't mind me posting this shock horror post for everyone to read.... on my blog.. 😉
Rob :p
LOL - but a very good read, I must say!
🙂 Thanks..
Thats just what I need to hear..
You taken a look at Tiffs book, a great read.
The answers still no tho.. 😉
Take care,
Rob.
Ahh - Yahoo has a new article featured
this morning: Fighting Over Money 😆
HI! Been there done that and went back. I swore I would never get married again but then I found my current husband #2 and the last. I liked being a single parent there was less stress involved. Nothing really changed except my kids got more fun time with both of us. I think with the support people around you there is no real diff in one or two parent houses. My bro was my support right after my divorce and we talked alot. If you could house single parents in with other ones that have the same values and dicipline thoughts I would have loved it but finding someone you could do that with would be the hard part. No offense I worked a hard job and can't stand people living off welfare b/c they can. Those singles are making the rest of us look bad and it is my tax money so I should not have to see it spent worthlessly.