Need Constructive Criticism

[jkgourmet]

I'm sure others will have much more valuable comments, esp. on the sales copy. However, one thing jumps out at me immediately. I'd fix the formatting on the table of contents.

[Steve]

I am by no means an expert but I think putting a border around it with a light blue background like the one here used on the forum would help focus the reader, it seems to run wild and hard to read with no container. . also, maybe reformat the table of contents and get rid of the page numbers. Also make the table of contents bullet points with a short blurb below each one outlining the benefit the reader will get out of that chapter or section.

Steve

[Clay Franklin]

I am not a copywriter and this is just my opinion.
I think it has too many colors and too many words.
It could be pulling a bit more on the emotional stress of not knowing how to do it and the pain of not getting your free book.
I would change subscribe to free instant access.

For this type of squeeze page I would rather have it look like:
Social Networking Assistant (http://socialnetworkingassistant.com)or ClaysList (http://clayslist.com)

Video squeeze pages may work better in some cases.

Very cool, I suspect you will get a lot of customers.

[Clay Franklin]

The reason the numbers do not line up is possibly because the font in the html editor is different than the font on the sales page.
all the page nmbers line up in html view on notepad.
If you want to keep the numbers, just count the periods on the sales letter for each line to bring them in line (ie how many to delete on each line) or use dreamweaver.