Online Identity

[Chris2]

Some of the comments in another thread got me to questioning the whole Online Identity thing so I'm hoping to get some feedback here.

It seems to me that a large number of successful bloggers tell us they are using their real names, and they have photos of themselves (supposedly) posted on their blogs. Many do videos as well where we see them talking. They say that being "real" is one of the major keys to their popularity/success.

I've gone back and forth on this myself for some time and had finally decided that the new trend and best way to succeed online is to be "real". To use your real name, photo, and if you are doing a more personal type blog, talk about yourself and your life (without revealing anything that could potentially jeopardize your safety, of course). I made this decision based on what the new trend seems to be with other bloggers, but now I'm noticing other successful online marketers/bloggers who are using their own names have said if they had it to do over they'd use a pen name. This has me second-guessing again.

It seems like people are wanting to see a real person behind a website/blog anymore. They want to "get to know you" on some level before making a purchase or getting involved in some other way. Personally, I'm turned off by websites that don't have what I "believe" to be a real name and photo. With blogging, over time you can generally get a "feel" for who a person is/what they stand for just by reading and you mentally connect the name and photo of the person to that feeling. Over time, as you read/follow more, you get more comfortable with that "person" or the site/blog. The more comfortable you are, the more likely you are to heed advice, post a comment, and/or make a purchase.

We've all heard it said many times that people do business with people they know, like and respect. (Even if the "person" is just an illusion, the results are the same.) The key words there, to me, are: people... know... like... respect. People want to do business with people... not words, graphics and buy buttons. They want to feel like they "know" the person they are dealing with, at least on some level. Of course, they have to like them, otherwise they probably wouldn't purchase anything. Respect is also very important, and this has to be earned, I think.

Considering all this, I would think a photo (at the very least) would be critical to success online. Posting that photo, however, seems erase all anonymity.

Also, how can you be "real" if you use a pen name? And what good is a pen name (if you are using it for safety/security reasons) if you post a photo of yourself on your site and are posting videos of yourself? But nowadays you almost have to do video to get people's attention.

I'd love to get everyone's thoughts on all this.

Plus, what if you are not 30 something and gorgeous? What if you're 85, bald and wrinkled and you think your photo would hurt your site rather than help it? In that case, the same would be true of getting in front of a video camera, so how would you address that?

Thanks! - Chris2 (who, btw, is not 30 something and gorgeous, but not 85, bald and wrinkled either ;) )

[stormy]

I don't know if this answers your question, but I think you have to be real to get anywhere long term. It's just too much work otherwise building truly fake personas. This stuff is enough work as it is without having to develop multiple personalities as well.

I am not a successful blogger so bear that in mind, but what I did, to protect myself a tiny bit, was to use my middle name instead of my real first name. Some other people use say their middle name and their grandmother's maiden name - or some such thing. But your photos and your life story and everything else is completely real.

It's not much protection, but say I wanted to give this all up and go get a job, and the person interviewing me looked my actual first name and last name up online, they wouldn't find me at all. Obviously if I wanted them to find me I could say - I used my middle name for all my online stuff - look here. But otherwise it would be like I didn't exist online. If old school friends look me up using my name, I don't exist online etc.

But I am me, there is only one version of me and it's real. With Google+ now you have to have your real person, it does not deal with fake personas.

[ChristineCobb]

Just as you said you were turned off by websites that don't have a "real" person behind it, I think that is the normal reaction. Well-known brands (Best Buy, Wal-Mart, Netflix, etc) have spent millions to build trust in their brand which takes the place of having a real person behind it.

For us small web business owners, it is absolutely necessary to build trust through developing our brand through our personas. Now that may be with a middle name like Stormy suggested or our real name like Lynn does or a pen name. It is even more critical when your product(s) are heavily associated with YOU. The disadvantage of using a pen name in that circumstance is that it makes it more difficult to create massive online visibilty (where people say, "I see you everywhere").

One of the most viewed pages on a website is the About page. Check your exit page stats. Are people leaving your site after reading your About page? I, too, am turned off when the About page says "I do this" and "I did that" but they refuse to say who they are.

Imagine opening a brick and mortar store in your town, and when people come into the store, you stay in the back room and maybe talk to them through an intercom attached to a life-size cut-out of a cartoon character. How successful would that be? Not!

There are situations where a pen name is perfectly fine. Lynn has successfully used a pen name in some of her niche sites. In those circumstances, the product wasn't dependent upon the person behind the site.

As for whether a photo would hurt the site unless you are really good looking, I say no. More important is your ability to communicate well enough so that people feel like they know you and like you.

[DebraLloyd]

Hey Chris,
I agree and I'm pretty certain there's enough statistics out there to confirm what you're thinking - people buy from people not logo's, they buy when they feel they like and trust you. My take is if someone is going to take the time to 'stop by' my site, then I owe them the respect of being real and being a real person.

I don't think it's unreasonable for me to take some basic 'security measures' to be sure someone doesn't show up at my back door unless they're specifically invited (in which case read my profile you'll guess it'd be much appreciated if you show up with wine, but you can skip the chocolates - my heart and hips don't need those:)

I agree with Stormy (and yes we do know each other in 'real' life - BTW I had the pleasure to meet Chris Cobb all be it too briefly at NAMS), it's essential that you present the real you, with a real life story and a real image, wrinkles and all. For me as with most, it's the wrinkles and how they got there that made me who I am today - I'm old enough to know not everyone is going to like or want to hear everything I have to say and of course that's ok too.

I'm not always right, when I figure out I'm wrong I make every effort to correct whatever it is I've said, done or thought. But I am always honest, always me and yes I still almost always have an opinion:) I've done a lot, experienced successes and failures, made stupid, expensive mistakes both in business and in life and I survived it all so I feel like I can share all that and maybe save someone else some of the GNA (grief 'n' aggravation).

There's a reason some of those guru's are saying if they started over they would use a pen name, something at some point has happened to make them feel that would have been smart. I say be real yourself, use your own real photo but be just a little bit smart and use a middle or maiden name and a P.O. Box and only invite people you've already met in person over to your real home. To that end go to NAMS in August, you'll learn a ton, meet great people there and you'll find out whose using old photos for their profile pics :)

Hope to see you there Chris2, I notice BTW you do not have a profile pic on here, c'mon now we all know you look like Hugh Jackman just as you can see I look EXACTLY like Angelina Jolie :) - I just keep pushing that one for me just in case the image will stick!

Cheers,
Deb

[Chris2]

This feedback is great! Keep it coming. You've ALL made excellent observations and points, so far. Thank you.

@stormy - I just got a google+ invite from a friend of mine under her pen name... so she's found a way to not use her real name there and I just sent her an email to ask how she did it. I just can't imagine using my real name on google or fb or any of the social media sites. I'm so totally a recluse/introvert and I'll admit.. a little paranoid about sharing any info that could jeopardize my security/safety/websites/business/bank accounts/etc..

@Christine - I've written for the public before and gotten great responses so I think I could manage the part about getting readers to feel like they know me and like me, etc.. (not all, of course, but enough readers).

@ Debra - LOL... I had to google to find out who HJ is. I live under a rock, I swear. Threw out my tv nearly 20 years ago so I tend to stay kind of behind on who's who in the world. Yes, I'm very weird. I'm also female. It's funny, a lot of people think I'm male when they read my posts, etc.. but then.. I'm not like "most women" so maybe my style/language is a little obtuse or something. I'm gay, never married, no kids, business-oriented, self-sufficient, opinionated but compassionate, too soft-hearted, and have often done the impossible before breakfast. So, with just that little bit you can see I'm a bit abnormal. Honestly, I've never been into photos, of myself or anyone/anything else. I have a few nature photos but that's it. I have one lousy photo of me and my dog I might could upload to my profile, but that's it. I know, I need to get a good photo. As for NAMS, I'd love to go in August, but it will depend on where I am... literally... I am moving back to Texas within the next few months (hopefully) and not sure if NAMS will be doable.

Okay so, yes, most people could use a middle name or whatever and be okay with that, but still, if you are going to have your photo on your site and do videos to relate to your audience better (to increase your "web presence", readership, loyalty, engagement, etc.) it doesn't matter if you call yourself Mickey Mouse... people who know you will KNOW who you are.

While I intend to take every precaution with security/safety issues (website security, use po box, and all that type of thing) the name/photos/video part of it all are my main dilemma.

Let me explain a bit.. I was raised in a very religious family (ie: cult.. more or less) and I'm talking my extended family here, too. I was involved from the age of 6 to my late 20's. It took me until age 39 to finally figure out how wrong that religion is. That's about the same time I started to realize I'm gay. (And it was pretty earth-shattering to figure it out that late in life, but that's how powerful denial can be. God hates gay people, you know... lol.) Because of that religion I have never told any of my family (I'm sure some suspect, but I'll never tell them as it would open a huge catastrophic can of worms). There are quite a few members of my extended family that live in the same town I grew up in. My mom still lives there, too. Dad has passed away. Mom just turned 80 this month.

Basically, I just walked away from the religion and people have learned over the years NOT to talk to me about it because I just walk away from them or hang up or never respond to their letters. The issue is... my mom is still totally involved in it, that's her whole world. If I tell her or anyone I'm gay the sh** will hit the fan as far as the religion and their "disciplinary actions" (LOL) toward me... will devastate my mom. Personally, I don't give a rat's behind about it, but I do care very much about my mom and don't want to put her though that.

I know this all seems completely irrelevant... but bear with me...

I'm creating a blog about depression, specifically it will contain a lot about my own decades-long experiences with depression (primarily due to the religion itself, being gay and a lot of other things) in the interest of helping others to get past the kind of depression that relates to circumstances (vs chemical imbalances). Mine, obviously was circumstantial. I managed to cure my own depression. It took lots of work and a great deal of reading/learning, but I did it, and I believe others can, too, regardless of it's origin... as long as they are serious about it.

Here's the problem... I WANT to be real with my audience... but I don't want my mom (or any of her friends, or other family members, etc.) to know that I have this site, or if they happen to find it.. be able to link it back to me because, again, the sh** would hit the fan and my mom would suffer the most from that. She's 80! I don't want to rock her boat at this late stage of the game. So I'm trying to figure out a way to make all this work, to have a successful blog, but keep my real identity hidden at least until she passes (which I hope will be many years down the road!)

Yes, it's very complicated. I'd appreciate all the input I can get on this. Thanks in advance!

[DebraLloyd]

Well that'll teach me to make assumptions, isn't that dumb that I took your name and assumed you were a guy. Anyway you don't sound abnormal at all, you sound like a smart, strong, articulate and motivated person - all else is or should be irrelevant.

But WOW Chris - that's quite the story and now it makes total sense that you want and need to protect your Mom's privacy too. I could care less about people's personal life, I only care that I associate with people who have principles and treat others with respect. I guess you could say I'm very much a live and let live type - but OMG at the same time I have an opinion on just about everything, I just don't expect everyone else to agree with it and neither do I want to be pressured to convert to theirs! I like to discuss, decide and at worst agree to differ on things - end of story, but it sounds like you have been on the wrong end of people who think their way is the only way and that is sad for them and you.

So back to your situation though - hmm maybe you could create (or have someone do it for you) a 'cartoon' avatar that allows people to have a 'human face visual' to relate to, but does not identify you specifically such that it might cause a problem for you or your Mom. It certainly sounds as if your writing would do the rest and if your audience is people who might be dealing with depression I would just have something that explains you prefer to retain some level of anonymity but promise to be real just the same - those who are motivated to like and trust you will anyway and those who won't you'd never win over anyway.

There ya go - IMNSHO on that one. Maybe someone else will have a better idea but that's what I'm coming up with at the moment. Either way, I wish you all the very best with whatever you decide to do and we're glad to have you in our group regardless - you're raising some great questions that will help us all.

Cheers,
Deb

[stormy]

@Chris2

Don't know where you got the idea I said names other than those that are strictly your own were not allowed on Google+ profiles. The name I use is not my real name as such, as I explained above. When I said on G+ you can't use fake personas - I meant that you can't go making people up and having 9 different people who don't exist each with their own G+ accounts. I may have a name that is not quite the same as my everyday name, but the life and work it describes is my own on G+.

There may be away around it, to have fake personas, (like Jason Bourne has passports), but unlike say the practice at ezine articles, it is not Google's intention to allow that.

Of course there will be people who manage to get around the rules, but it is quite clearly stated by Google. You can read them here yourself (http://support.google.com/plus/bin/answer.py?hl=en&answer=1228271).

Regarding your story and how it impacts your online identity - I don't see how you can have a site that draws on your life without revealing your identity too. The details of your experiences will out you if your name does not. Have you read "My Life In Orange"? Maybe you could write a book instead at some point in the future.

[Chris2]

@ stormy - sorry, I misunderstood about the Google+ profiles. Thanks so much for clarifying and for the link. I'll do some reading ;) I'm honestly dragging my feet about all the social "stuff", and sharing because it soooo goes against my nature. But I know if I'm to be successful online I have to be as "out there" as I can be.. just maybe not with my real name.

@ Debra/Angelina - Hey! Don't you ever call yourself "dumb" in my presence! You are definitely NOT dumb, as I said, it's a common misconception. Maybe there are just more male Chris's in the world than female, not sure why people tend to make that assumption, I just thought it was the way I write. Of course, if I would post a photo there'd be less confusion hey? lol.

You and I sound so much alike as far as values/principles, etc.. I grew up in a very judgmental environment, and I was expected to be judgmental and critical of others, too. (Though they called it something else.) Once I got far enough away from it all to start thinking for myself and seeing a different side of the world (different people/viewpoints/etc.) I totally changed about that. I may have my opinions on someone's choices, but I try hard not to be judgmental because... guess what? In their place, with their life experiences and circumstances I'd probably be doing exactly what they are so how can I judge anyone? No one has all the answers either. No one is better than anyone else. We all have our "stories" and we've all had our "rough spots" in life and truth be told, many of us would find that compared to some, our lives have been/are pretty soft. I think the real measure of a person is how far they're able to go because of, or in spite of, the hand life has dealt them.

I'm really glad the story added clarity to what my issues are regarding privacy and my mom and all that. I wasn't sure whether I should share that much, but didn't know how else to get the real questions out there.

I think yours is an excellent suggestion about the cartoon avatar with the explanation. I'd thought of the avatar or some kind of "made up image", or even just a photo of an animal (maybe a zebra because the site name will be zenzebras.com), but never thought about explaining why I didn't have my real photo on my site... duh... lol. Like you say, those motivated to like and trust will, those who won't wouldn't otherwise. This makes perfect sense.

"The names have been changed to protect the innocent"... like on Dragnet... lol. (Yeah, but I was a kid then I swear!)

Now you've got me all excited again because that (explaining why) is certainly do-able. YouTube will just have to wait, I suppose, unless I can figure out how to transform the avatar into a moving hologram or something.. now that would be a trip! (Don't look for that soon.)

[ChristineCobb]

The videos are no problem. Just use screencast videos or PowerPoint videos instead. If your voice would give you away, then you can get a friend or even someone on Fiverr to read your script.

[Chris2]

@ Christine - so now you're going to make me work huh?... lol. I had in mind (ideally) just sitting and talking "face to face" with people on my video explaining the points I want to share. With PowerPoint I'd need to come up with images to explain/enhance the points. Sounds intriguing, actually. I think my voice would give me away, so I would have to find someone to do the voice part, but with all these other things sorted out, that's a pretty small issue.

I'm so glad I posted this thread. You guys are the best!

[Chris2]

@ stormy - Thank you so much for the book title. I hadn't heard of it and just glanced at it over at Amazon. Sounds similar to the book I may one day write about my own experiences. And, yes, I've thought about that, but as you suggested, it would most likely reveal enough that people could figure out who wrote it so, will likely postpone it for a while.

As for the blog, I've been away from the religion and the people in it for so many years now that they honestly know practically nothing about me/my life/who I am/what I've been through since. So all my experiences getting through depression (which is what the main focus of my blog will be) they know nothing about. Therefore I think I can get away with blogging (rather carefully in certain spots) about that without revealing too much that my identity is revealed. (My mom doesn't even know a fraction of what I've been through since leaving the religion roughly 25 years ago.)

To get that distance from all those people, once I realized the religion was just plain wrong... I literally had to move to another city, and eventually 1000 miles away. Now I'm at the point in life that I need to go back to look after my mom. I want to do that and I feel it's the right thing to do. The real trick is going to be blogging about all this stuff right there in her house without her reading my blog... lol. I think I can manage it as I'll be writing ebooks on unrelated topics at the same time so can always just tell her I'm writing about fish or something. We'll see.

Now I'm off to order the book!

[Lynn Terry]

Hi Chris,

You don't sound at all "abnormal" to me. :)

Given the topic of your blog/site, it would be a perfect match to have an obscure photo and explain the reasons for it on your About page. I'll give you an example photo of myself that I might use in that situation, just to give you an idea:

427

Sorry it came out fuzzy - I couldn't find the original photo. But you get the idea.

Use a pen name, or a version of your own name. You're still YOU. And if someone does pick up on who you are from your obscure photo and specific circumstances, they were seriously digging... and there isn't much you can do about it. I had a situation like that many years ago (more than 10) where I was posting under a screen name on a divorce forum, and an old friend of mine somehow happened up on that thread, and deduced it was me authoring it - and it ended the friendship. I could have easily denied it given there was no identifying information, but I didn't. Ahh well, ya know?

I totally understand respecting your mother's privacy and feelings. And by all means, take every measure for now.

By the way, would it change your opinion of me any at all to know that I just recently (a few years ago) took back the name "Lynn Terry" legally? I ran my offline businesses in the city under another name. It made no difference. People knew, liked and trusted/respected me as I was.

I'm writing a book under a pen name for some of the very same reasons you've stated here. And that pen name is very much a part of my real persona - and she blogs, tweets, etc even. ;-)

[DebraLloyd]

@Chris2 - well video is really important these day but you could always go the route of the unknown comic - remember the guy who always wore a paper bag over his head?

Seriously though, our own Ken Theriot is the voice over guy (my nickname for him not his) but he may be able to help you with any questions you may have about audio or if you need help finding your online 'voice'.

Powerpoint can be a lot of fun when you start to play with all the custom effects etc. I used power point to do this 10 video trailer for my dad's book, but please ignore that website it's the pits and has been completely neglected by me for over a year in favor of my broker business and this latest project of NGBT. But if you want to see just what can be done with a laptop, a desktop, blue-tooth headset and a lot of patience check it out here http://rayevansauthor.com/207/10-minute-video-trailer-before-the-last-all-clearfeatured/

Then you should go read Ken's series of posts http://www.homebrewaudio.com/10571/how-to-build-a-home-recording-studio-part-1/ and check out his newbies guide to recording awesomeness.

Yes indeed - is this not just the BEST group on the net and we're delighted to have you be a part of it.

Cheers,
Deb/Angelina - I'm likin' that - been saying forever if I sat with it I'd get everyone else on board too :)

[Chris2]

Lynn, that's a "perfect photo", I think. What an awesome idea. Thanks for including that in this thread. (Burgess Falls?)

I really don't think there's much chance "the wrong people" will find my blog or discover it's "me" from my writing unless I use my real name/photo/etc. If they do, like you, I'll deal with it. Even though I'll be living with my mom to look after her, I plan to keep a wide distance from everyone else involved in that religion, including "old friends" and other relatives. I don't intend to share much about myself with anyone except maybe mom, still, some subjects will never come up.

And, no, knowing you just recently took back the name Lynn Terry doesn't change anything in my opinion. Chris isn't my real name, but a name I've used since living in NC (I've always strongly disliked my real name and needed a change.) People know and like me here under that name and most don't know it's not my real name, the ones that do know couldn't care less. Interesting, isn't it? People put so much stock in names, but when you get right down to it, often names mean nothing really, it's the person/persona behind the name that we connect with/relate to.

I like what you said about the pen name being very much a part of your real persona. You know, it's true, there are so many facets to who we are, who says they can't have different names!

[Lynn Terry]

It was taken at Rock Island, TN. :)

And good points. You ARE Chris. The name is irrelevant. ;-)

[Lynette A]

Chris I think you should write a book. I would read it! I read your story and found myself wanting more!

[Chris2]

Thank you Lynette, that's awesome of you to say that.

I've toyed with the idea for years, ever since reading a book written by someone else who left the religion. It was the first book ever written and published about it. I'd love to have written a book about what I went through, but the prospect of actually writing it is like a double-edged sword. Part of me just wants to forget all that, not re-live it as I am trying to write the book. Another part of me wants to expose it for what it is.. a pack of lies.. a haven for abusers and sex offenders.. a cult that is robbing people of their lives, their families, their futures. A boy I knew committed suicide and, looking back, I'd bet it was because he was gay. Another very sweet boy I knew got his head bashed in by his so-called Christian step-father and was protected by the elders in the church and was never brought up on charges as he should have been. It was all swept under the rug and if not for the school system standing up for the boy, he'd have had to stay with that "father". After he got out of the hospital he went to live with relatives in another state.

So, I'm torn. I also have doubts that I could write it well enough that it would convey what I want to convey about the emotional pain I went through. I can explain things fairly well in my writing, but I've never tackled anything emotional and not sure I can do that well enough to suit me/what I want to accomplish. The other consideration is, most likely people would figure out that I wrote it and then we're back to causing unnecessary pain for my mom. So I think it will have to wait, at least for a while. If you want to pm me with an email address, I'll save it and let you know if/when I write it.

[Lynette A]

sent you a private message chris.....wow on those boys...how anyone can hurt another is beyond me!
your writing is great!

[Sandy G]

This is so helpful. I really empathize with Chris2 about the religion thing. I have close family still very active in a particular religion and my mother in particular uses it to "spread the word!!" It's great that she's on FB at 77 years old but not so great that she sees all that her naughty rebellious daughter gets up to. It is sort of funny really. I do sometimes think that Google is now like the all seeing Almighty, dispenser of online life and death. I also have a distinctive name, not something like Smith, Marshall, etc.
I just googled myself (scary!) About 6 entries down,on Page 1 of Google, there I am on a "small business owners" website, with photo, local area..and all, from one year ago...off to take down that photo at least!

[rhelling]

Hey Lynn...

Long time visitor, first time forum participant and poster. ;-)

This is a great topic for me. I've listened to many internet marketers over the years and I usually hang out at the Warrior Forum a lot - now it's probably going to be this forum too! lol When it comes to article marketing it seems like everyone promotes the same thing - content and volume. ...with various niches (100's?!) I just assumed that most everyone uses some fake pen name. Now...when I go to EzineArticles...I notice (...including you) that big names have VERY few posted articles.

I guess I just don't understand this. I just looked you and a few others up on EzineArticles. You're a platinum author with 6 articles?!? (...hmmm, not believin' that! lol) Can I assume that the 100's of other articles across various niches have been with other fake pen names?

Just curious. Thanks.

Randall

[Lynn Terry]

Welcome Randall :)

I rarely do article marketing in that particular way. Not blasting hundreds out, at least. I prefer to do Guest Blogging for my content marketing strategy - more bang for the buck. ;-)

[rhelling]

lol...well good to know. I think you're the only "real" online internet marketer to tell me that. ;-)

[Lynn Terry]

Unfortunately a lot of "marketers" teach a method as a business. The business is not in the method.

This post is almost 2 years old now, but still relevant - and goes into detail on what I mean:

http://www.clicknewz.com/2548/method-madness/

:)

[Cliff Michaels]

Well I guess there's been plenty of 'great' answers for the OP's original concern, but If I might just add another thought... When I was in the music business, it was common to use a 'stage' name. It was primarily done to 'shorten' long names, or help with pronunciation.

I used a middle name, as others have referred to. And yes, I do not wish for the rest of the world, family, friends, associates, etc. to know my 'all' my business by just Googling my 'real' name. So I maintained my 'musician' name.

So, now I'm in this business... Who's to know, or even care whether my last name is 'this' or 'that'. If I'm going to build trust and create a relationship with my list, it will be build on whatever name I use. As long as what I provide to them is 'real', 'helpful', 'what they need/want', and I do what I say I'm going to do.

Isn't it common for writers to use 'pen' names? Isn't it common for people in show business to use another name? Just give people what they need, and it won't matter if your name is ... humpty dumpty.

And one last thing.... if you use an autoresponder, and if you're serious about this business, you eventually will, your 'address' is given at the end of every email... by law.

Good Luck

Cliff 'Michaels'

[Lynn Terry]

Welcome Cliff :)


And one last thing.... if you use an autoresponder, and if you're serious about this business, you eventually will, your 'address' is given at the end of every email... by law.'

I highly recommend using a PO Box or something similar. ;-)

[Cliff Michaels]

Welcome Cliff :)

I highly recommend using a PO Box or something similar. ;-)

Hi Lynn,

Thanks for the welcome... Lynn, I've thought about the PO Box. But I've
tossed something back and forth with that...

I've seen some well-known players NOT use a PO, and some that DO.

I ask myself if a PO Box looks 'shady' to some eyes? Or is it just me?
I can't quite decide yet.

So, if someone decides to come knocking at my door... and if they have
a smile on their face, I'll admit to being me.... if they're not smiling, I'll
just have to inform them the Cliff moved years ago from this address. :)

Thanks Lynn - Glad to be aboard.

Cliff

[angienewton]

I highly doubt those well known players are using a real address most of the time! I don't think using a P.O. box is shady at all, just smart when it comes to online security. That's my take on it anyway:)

[Chris2]

Great input, everyone!

Cliff - I totally agree with you that if you offer value, people won't care what your name is. I haven't used my real name hardly at all since 2001 (only on my driver's license and such things). To people I personally know, very few know or care what my real name is. With writing, pen names are very common and practically expected.

To some, using a P.O. Box may seem shady, but the truth is it is becoming so much the "norm" these days that I think people will come to care less and less about that. I've used a P.O. Box for years, personally, and I guess I've just gotten use to it, so no big deal to me. I am female and have lived alone for almost 30 years. I've used a P.O. Box for the past 16 for privacy and safety reasons.

Another fact is that even CEO's for brick and mortar businesses don't use their home addresses anyway, they use an office or business address and no one cares, right? So, to me, an online company or business (or anyone who works from home) should have the right NOT to give out a home address.

I believe that if you provide great content on your site, and are sincere in what you offer, that sincerity will come through in the writing. As long as you don't sound like a snake-oil salesman and you offer something of value, people will have some degree of respect for you/your site/your business and probably won't think twice about whether or not you have a P.O. Box. Just my .02.

[CarolineJ]

Chris - I've just found this really interesting thread of yours and tonight I promised myself that I would get to bed before Midnight. Sooo, I'm going to be disciplined and go to bed and resume my reading tomorrow.

I would like to add my 10p o'worth to the discussion.

Good Night!
Caroline :)

[Chris2]

Caroline - Great! I'm looking forward to your 10p worth!

[rhelling]

Okay...
Devil's advocate on the pen names though....

Let's say I want to build a niche around "guns" but I don't want anyone to know my real name. (...just call me 'ShotGun Fred') ;-) When it comes to social media, article marketing, responders, networking, etc....are you suggesting that I need to have another 'fake' account with all of these things?

Soo...
(2) Twitter Accounts
(2) YouTube Accounts
(2) Email Accounts
(2) FaceBook Accounts
etc, etc....

Randall
(my real name!) lol

[Chris2]

Randall - I would, yes. PITA? (pain in the ass)... YES.. but worth it to protect yourself, your identity, assets, close relatives, etc..

[CarolineJ]

Okay Chris - so now I understand your reticence with Facebook et all.
It sounds like you've fixed the photo issue...I do think you need something and an 'mascot'/avatar could work well. To give you an example of what I mean, take a look at a pal's FB page : www.facebook.com/fanpagesmadeeasy. However, with FB, you need a personal profile page before you can have a 'business' page and I think you have to use your real name on there...

What I personally think is more important is your personality and 'openness' coming through on the page. I always look at the 'About Us' part of a website and to be honest if there is nothing 'personal' there, I'm off. You wouldn't have to put something 'personal' like where you went to school and what size shoe you take, but I would want a peek into chris2/Hugh Jackman...BTW - I didn't think you were a guy, you write really well and where is chris1?? ;)

Doing videos - I think this would be great and you could easily get over the voice recognition. Davina (my sister) and I have now made 81 videos, no fancy gear just some screencast software. A year ago we had made zero videos, so if we can then you can too. Happy to help if/when you need it.

Caroline - the newbie who doesn't know how to properly use the mic function on Lynn's webinar :)

[Chris2]

Hey Caroline - I have no idea where Chris1 is.. I just always favor even numbers for some reason. Chris was taken so I threw on the 2 ;)

I checked the link you gave, and yes, I'm toying around with ideas about avatars and "obscure photos" as Lynn mentioned. I feel like that issue will now be easily resolved thanks to the group here! (Thanks All!) I'm actually trying to figure out where I can get a real Zebra for about 15 minutes to shoot some photos of me (only the back of my head) with a live zebra to use on my site... could be interesting! Since I don't know any zebras personally, I'll probably end up using a photo or avatar-like zebra though.

Regarding identity - What is so maddening is that I'm not a complicated person and try very hard to be as real as I can in every aspect of my life, but where this and my mom's situation is concerned, I have no choice but to make all this way harder than it should be. I feel like I'm creating "drama" of something that should be stupidly simple (a name, for crying out loud). Unfortunately, it's necessary.

The good thing is, as I mentioned earlier, is that my mom and the people that know her (including my own relatives) don't have a clue about what my life has been for the last 12 years, or who I have become in that time. So I feel like I can share on my "about" page details about myself and my life that will not reveal my identity to these people at all. This will allow my site readers/visitors to know a bit about me in order to feel like I'm a real person, with real stories and a valuable message to share with them.

As for videos, what can you tell me about the voice recognition thing? I'm intrigued! Do you mean that there is software that I can use that would alter my voice (hopefully without sounding like it was altered)? Can a techno-idiot (like me) run the software?

Just so you know, I won't be doing videos anytime soon (I have no webcam and no other equipment to shoot videos with right now) but I do want to be heading in that direction by learning a bit about what I'll need to do.

Don't worry about the mic thing.. hey, I've never even used it so.. you're ahead of me!

Take care!

[CarolineJ]

Chris - voice recognition thing....I think I used the wrong terminology. I just meant that I'm sure you could get someone to speak in your place.

I think it sounds as though with a little more thinking, you'll be good to go. Let us know when you find that Zebra!

Caroline :)

[Chris2]

Sandy - what you say about your mother sounds very familiar... interesting.

Re: Google... I google my real name regularly just to keep track on what's out there. Believe it or not.. if I'm on google anywhere I'm buried in the back pages somewhere because I've never found me (and I am SO happy about that!). There is an author (with many books published), however, who has my name (probably her real name, too) and she's all over the place so when people google for me they only find her.. so cool! I even got snail mail from Houghton-Mifflin (sp?) wanting to use a quote from her... was too funny.

[Chris2]

Thanks Caroline! I think I need to pose that question to Ken and see if there are software options.

The problem with getting someone to do my voice is I wonder if someone else could convey in their voice the passion that I want it to. I know.. it's asking a lot. I also know I am way too picky about details. I'll get it figured out.

Thanks for the input!

[rhelling]

Chris2...

You know what's interesting...I have a VERY similar situation. Different niche...actually two! It's not that I don't want to be 'real'...it's just complicated if I'm real. This is the first time I've ran into someone actually discussing it! WooHoo! Thank you! Lots of great information on this thread! (...and btw, reading the 'about you' section made me want to engage in this conversation more....which is even more frustrating because that solidifies the whole don't remain anonymous thing to me. lol)

I gotta believe there are other people out there like that. Maybe it's just one niche...maybe it's 50. But I gotta believe there are FaceBook Pages, Twitter Accounts, Articles, Videos, etc. of "fake" people....providing good information and being otherwise honest about it.

Like you pointed out earlier to me...entering those niches creates some marketing PITA issues. But I haven't heard that it's frowned upon or wrong. Just gotta stay organized...and enjoy what you're doing. ;-)

Randall

(PS: ...about the Google thing. I can relate. lol When I first started out, I was always worried friends and family...or worse (my co-workers and boss!!) would Google me and say, "what are you doing with all these articles and that website?!?" LOL)

[LaurieNeumann]

I tried using a pen name at one point for a couple of sites that weren't related to the IM niche, but it just didn't seem right to me. I find it hard to sign someone else's name to things I write. And besides, I may have missed a sale when someone called and asked for me (my pen name) and my husband told them they had the wrong number:-)

[Chris2]

"About" pages/profiles - yes Randall, it would seem that people do want to know "you" and,toward that end, it seems obvious that you'd want to use your real name... HOWEVER... the deeper I look into this subject and the more feedback I receive I am becoming quite inclined to think the actual name you use is NOT important. Afterall, our names were randomly chosen by our parents, likely before we were even born, so they truly are no reflection of who we are what we believe or stand for, they're just a label (sad but true), so honestly... who cares?

What IS important IMHO is to create an about page that DOES reflect you, your life, your interests, your beliefs, etc., etc., as they relate to your site/blog/topic/whatever. I think if you are real there, the name doesn't matter. Plus, of course, your writing and subjects would need to be in harmony with the real you as well.

Laurie - LOL interesting story and a great point! I'm the only one who answers my phone so I've never faced that issue. As for signing someone else's name... try to look at it as NOT someone else's name... but YOURS... or the name of one the many different sides/parts of YOU. It does take a while to adapt and get comfortable, I agree, but often it's worth it in the long run, especially when you think about safety and security of yourself and loved ones in this shark/hacker infested internet world.

To anyone who may be interested, I did find out that you can use voice altering software and/or there is voice software that allows you to tweak the sound so that it alters your voice. So I guess I'll throw a bag over my head or sit in the dark and be able to actually talk to my audience via YouTube after all. Hmm.. interesting. Now if only I were half as articulate speaking as I am writing I'd be home free... as they say. (Sadly, even with a well-rehearsed script, I tend to stumble over my own words when speaking.)

Thanks for all the feedback here peeps!

[DebraLloyd]

Chris - Ken Theriot is the Elite expert on all tings audio check out his site he has a great newbies course on how to do good audio without spending a bunch of money. I'd bet a $100 he could show you how to record something that sounds great - he has a great post on how to get rid of the um' and ah's http://www.homebrewaudio.com/8983/how-to-finish-long-voice-over-jobs-faster/ some great tips on mistakes there.

Cheers,
Debra

[ChristineCobb]

I tend to stumble over my own words when speaking

This is only a problem when you are speaking live to a group. When you are recording and stumble, just stop, pause a few seconds, and start again at the last thought. Then simply edit out the stumble part. No one will ever know :)

[Chris2]

Christine... I love you. You always have such great ideas and input... thanks!

[CarolineJ]

Chris2 - I too am not going to let you off so lightly :)

As Chris says, the art of video making is in the editing IMHO, and after 82 videos I've proved it!

Plus, people don't want a perfectly produced, slick video that they can't relate to.

So edit out the errs and umms (which is what everyone does) and just be you, stumbles and all.

Caroline :)

[Chris2]

Thank you CarolineJ, I doubt you realize what an inspiration you are in what you and Davina have done, and continue to accomplish. I have been paying attention ;) I'm looking forward to learning a lot from you.

[CarolineJ]

Aw you flatterer you! Seriously if we can then you can!

Can't wait for the 'bag-over-the-head-'audio - lol Could start a trend.

Caroline

[Lynn Terry]

Now if only I were half as articulate speaking as I am writing I'd be home free... as they say. (Sadly, even with a well-rehearsed script, I tend to stumble over my own words when speaking.)

I'm really getting some practice in with my personal video blog (http://www.lynnterry.tv), lol. I wanted to say though that I actually do WORSE with a script and much better if I just freestyle it. I had to really practice looking into the lens too, and I actually imagine the individual people that are watching (those that I actually know in person "IRL") and that helps me to carry on a conversation as if they're actually in the room - which comes off much more natural.

I still mess up a lot. When I do, I pause for a 10 seconds or more, which makes the editing much easier. ;-) Then I resume. I also pause between points, in case I want to add in transitions - which gives the transition plenty of room without cutting off the end or beginning of sentences.

[rhelling]

ugh. well...i just had this exact situation play out. i have several anoyomous niche blogs...but i have a new mixed business/personal blog where i wanted to be real and post "real" stuff.

i decided to go with my real name / real picture. (sidebar: i have a checkered past and my background is not good if googled online...enough said.) well, i posted stuff regarding business...advice, etc. and i also posted stuff about life...what my kids are up to, whats new, opinions on personal things, etc.

well, my ex-wife caught wind of it and demanded posts regarding my children be immediately removed and then started what ill call harrassment and threats to comment negatively on my blog, etc. (...and im assuming all of her attack dogs are waiting to pounce too.)

im not sure if there are legal grounds to protect me or what....but it really doesnt matter. the point is...its a huge distraction. i could have easily started this blog as "joe smith" and used all my same pictures, topics, etc....and no one i know personally would have found it. (...at least with an easy google search) - maybe "joe smith" with a fake photo would be more protective.

[Chris2]

CarolineJ - Again, thanks for the encouragement. It really helps.

PhilT - Well, in my case, the people I would not want to discover my identity are not likely to be skilled enough to do the searching it would take to discover my real name. They are basically taught the internet is a very bad thing and to stay away, some do, some don't, but even the ones that don't are not very tech savvy else they'd get in trouble. As a whole, they are also discouraged from attending college, etc., too. It's very convoluted. I guess the best I can do is be as real with my readers as I can in what I write, while using a "pen name", obscure photos, and po box, etc.. Glad you mentioned aweber and the address, I didn't think about them having to have an address. This means I have to wait till after I move to sign up with aweber because I'll need a po box and you have to do paperwork/rent those in person, I can't do that till I'm there.

Lynn - I think I would do worse with a script, too. However, without one, I'll probably ramble a lot. Good to know about the 10 second pause for editing. I'll be referring back to this thread as I create my first video. I've received some great ideas, suggestions, and feedback.

Randall - what a bummer. Really ironic this happened while this thread is going huh? The internet has become quite a sticky mess to wade through in some ways. What seems so simple can become a maze before it's over.

Please don't let this event stop you from continuing all of your blogs. I believe each of us has worthwhile things to say and share with the world and to 'not' do that is a disservice to others as it deprives them of our experiences, knowledge and often hard-earned wisdom. Just use a "pen name" (sounds better than "fake" right?) and a caricature, cartoon, or obscure photo (see Lynn's earlier post), and keep on doing what you're doing. And thanks for sharing your thoughts and recent events in your own life on this topic with us here :) All of the comments in this thread have given me much to think about!

[rhelling]

Chris,
Yes...ironic to say the least. I was up all night thinking about this and I think I'm going to change all of my business dealings to a 'pen name'. Across the board. It's going to be a lot of work...but I think it's best in this case. That means my email address, my domain name, my forum accounts, my facebook, my linkedin, my twitter account, my article signatures, my paypal account, blah, blah, blah....will all change to reflect this "pen name". When I get on a computer I will now be known as: "Joe Smith" ...or something like that. ;-)

I'm still undecided on the picture. I don't really like cartoons...but I'll need to think more about that. I kinda think that my real picture with a pen name would be fine....but I'm still undecided. Unfortunately I like to share pictures of life, but I guess I'll stop. (I mean, what's different about having a personal/business blog and sharing stories vs a FaceBook account?!?) Whatever.

As for my children, I suppose it's best if I stop writing about their baseball games, etc. I don't think anyone will correlate "Joe Smith" with my stories, life experiences and activities with my children...but in the interest of satisfying my ex-wife and avoiding any undue hardship...I'll back down. It's just frustrating.

So...I'd love to hear feedback. But in the meantime...I may be entering this forum as someone completely new. ;-)

[Lynn Terry]

It's not a bad idea, particularly if it makes your life easier. And given you mentioned some negatives when people Google you anyway, setting up a DBA ("doing business as") might be beneficial to you all the way around. I assume your "checkered past" has nothing to do with scams, theft, or anything else that would make a DBA deceptive for people doing business with you. That being the case, it sounds like a good plan.