Need some sales page tips

[kdbbiz]

ok. I have written a sales page for my ebook. I do not like long sales pages, but I think this is the perfect length. I was hoping someone could read it over and tell me what they think. Tell me how it would be better for making sales, what more I can add.

http://settingupstore.melaniebremner.com/

thanks!

Melanie

[AlexNewell]

(1) I would advise adding an extra buy button higher up the page with a clear call to action. And make it nice and big too!

(2) I'd add a bonus - maybe just draw up a checklist or action plan for someone to follow or interview someone on skype who has done all this and can talk about it - plenty of folks here in the forum!

(3) the copy overall seems a bit whimsical. I think the bullets are pretty good and I'd cut out a chunk of the whimsy and move the bullets up the page.

Hope that helps!

:-)

[kdbbiz]

thanks Alex. I will see how I can get rid of some of the whimsical. I think you are referring to where I wrote down "drumroll please...." I have a section about the people who could benefit from the guide too I was thinking of adding too.


I also have 2 testimonials I wanted to add to this too but I do not know how to make the testimonial boxes with the right html coding. If anyone could point me in the right direction, I would appreciate it.

[AlexNewell]

Writing a sales page is way more taxing than just writing the product - for me at least!!

I grabbed a copy of Jason fladlein's product called http://3hourads.com

Testimonial or Johnson boxes can be a graphic if you like - just do it in Paint or Photoshop.

All The Best

[Engage]

Well, I'm not sure I'm really qualified to offer sales page advice, but that's never stopped me before, so....

1) Nitpicking: Random capitalization in tag line?

2) Picture of you at top, that's great. Maybe more photos, maybe a video, maybe link to blog? The key issue is trust, let us get to know you the seller.

3) If you have a store, maybe reorient the page towards the story of you (the person we want to trust) and your store success (what you have that we want).

4) Yes, an incentive bonus. And I will have a big one for you later today.

5) Maybe reorient the page towards an easier goal, inviting them to subscribe to a mailing list, where you will have weeks to build trust, provide details, and close the deal.

Hope something in there is somehow helpful.

[David Jay]

A couple comments. By the way I am a stickler for typos, spacing, punctuation. Especially when selling an ebook. If the the sales page is sloppy I assume the ebook will be sloppy as well and I start to doubt the quality of the information.

1. A different color for your secondary heading ("Discover How...") so it doesn't blend in with your primary header as much.

2. As mentioned above. Capitalization seems a little random and inconsistent

3. In the bullet points where you use dashes - the spacing before and after the dash is inconsistent as is the capitalization of the first word after the dash

4. Some space before the "Guarantee Box"

5. Make the price more detectable

6. Definitely a bigger Buy Now button

Good luck

[msliz]

Hey Melanie,

I like your page and you're definitely on the right track but here's what I'd suggest:

Separate your headers with different colors.

So for example: Your first header could stay red and the second make it blue or some contrasting color.

Also I've had good luck with giving myself a title. For example, you could try:

Melanie Bremner, Successful Work at Home Mom (or something of that nature)

I also suggest telling a personal story at the start of your letter. Help your readers relate to 'you' and how you discovered how to build your business online and also how it's maybe changed your life or brought you more peace of mind, etc.

In your bullet points help your readers to feel the benefits of what you can offer them. Here are a few changes I'd make, these are just examples but you will get the idea:

- Internet sales bring in x billions of dollars a year, I'll show you how you can get a share in those sales.

- Domain Names - How to choose the best domain name for sending you the most traffic.

- How to choose the best hosting site for an ecommerce store. Just any hosting service won't do.

- Pre-configured websites vs. designing your own - Which is better? I'll show you the differences and how to design your site for a competitive edge.

Be sure to capitalize the first word of each bullet point and also highlight the first few words.

BTW, how do you like the click to sell affiliate program?

[kdbbiz]

I don't know how I missed these other comments, but apparently I was too busy and did. I am so sorry. There is some great advice here from all of you. I thank you. I will definitely look into changing up and adding the things you have proposed.

Sounds great!. It is nice to know I did not do too bad of a job for my first sales page and not really much training. Thanks again for the tips.