Internet Cowards

[CindyBrock]

As a writer, I used to have writers send me emails all the time chastizing me when they found a typo on my web site. Idiots. What they should have done was send me an email saying, "hey, I was looking at your site, found a few typos, and would you like to hire me as your proofreader?"

[David Jackson]

As a writer, I used to get writers send me emails all the time chastizing me when they found a typo on my web site. Idiots. What they should have done was said, "hey, I was looking at your site, found a few typos, and would you like to hire me as your proofreader?"

Good one, Cindy. Good one!

David Jackson

[Engage]

Hi David,

Ok, no problem, just please recall it wasn't me that directed cruel, hateful and racist language at you, ok?

The group consensus of this thread is that we support you in your victim status. A number of folks have done a nice job of that already.

So the next writer to come along can fall in line, repeat the same things already said, play it safe, and be invisible. Or they can try to contribute something new, stick out a bit, and maybe be heard. That's the equation all of us face every day on our sites.

There's no way to stop anonymous people on the Internet from saying things we don't like. Proclaiming how bad these people are, and what victims we are, may be the safe socially correct thing to do, but it doesn't actually accomplish anything, does it?

The person who sent you the nasty note is offering you a gift.

They're saying that if you want to be a victim, they will help you do that. And they're reminding you that if you don't want to be a victim, you don't have to be one.

That's the power of real at work.

Whatever you want, you can have it. And that's good news.

Yes, a diatribe. Agreed, it's not always pretty, but that's what's real here, so that's what you get.

[Engage]

What they should have done was said, "hey, I was looking at your site, found a few typos, and would you like to hire me as your proofreader?"

And what you should have done is fire back a grateful email thanking them for working on your site for free.

[David Jackson]

Proclaiming how bad these people are, and what victims we are, may be the safe socially correct thing to do, but it doesn't actually accomplish anything, does it?

Hi Phil:

When did I or anyone who responded to this thread call themselves a victim? I was merely sharing a recent negative experience in a forum setting to stimulate conversation. Nothing more.

In fact, if you read the entire thread, I clearly stated to Roey that one idiot couldn't ruin my day. I've long since moved on from this. You should as well.

David Jackson

[Engage]

I was merely sharing a recent negative experience in a forum setting to stimulate conversation.

And we gave you the conversation you were asking for. And how that we have, we're wrong, and should stop.

You wrote an article on your site, and solicited comments. And when you received comments, they were wrong, and should stop.

I apologize for taking your thread seriously.

[David Jackson]

I apologize for taking your thread seriously.

Actually, it is I who should apologize for taking you seriously. My first instinct was to ignore your post, like the other posters wisely did. I won't make the mistake of taking you seriously ever again.

David Jackson

[Engage]

I won't make the mistake of taking you seriously ever again.

Ok, I agree with this plan, and am not suggesting anybody should take me seriously.

I'm suggesting we take the topic seriously. I'm agreeing with you when you said...

In any event, I'd love to hear your feelings on the subject.

I responded to your invitation because I felt you'd started a productive topic that opened a door to a deeper understanding of our reading and writing experience, the real job we should be doing. We aren't going to emerge from the pack as writers if we stay in the safe shallows.

So, where from here?

We could be "internet cowards", play it safe, and retreat back in to our carefully constructed public poses.

Or we could build on not taking each other seriously, by not taking ourselves too seriously either, open up, dig a bit deeper, and walk together through the door you've opened for us.

If you don't take me seriously, as I hope you don't, then you have nothing to lose by accepting the invitation you offered us in your opening post.

[David Jackson]

They have not been able to succeed at whatever it is you are succeeding at, so maybe they will feel better about themselves if they try to tear you down to their level, as opposed to building themselves up to your level!

But, I wouldn't worry too much about it!

Hi Matt:

Thanks for your feedback. After venting for a moment by starting this thread, the incident was quickly forgotten. I've moved on.

David Jackson

[Angela Wills]

Engage - what's your real name?

Just curious is all.

David I don't have much to comment on the trolls who say mean things for the sake of being mean. As you said it seems you've happily moved on to better things!

Luckily I haven't come across it much (yet!) but I'm sure when it comes I will need to brace myself and try to toughen up my skin too.