Please review my first press release

[Herman2]

Hi,

I'm helping promote a local business with a press release. Please review the attached file to see if it's suitable for release. I'm trying prlog first.

What free release sites are best to submit to? I don't wish to waste time on low quality ones.

Thanks a bunch.

[David Jackson]

Hi Herman:

Please don't take offense, but it just looks like your ordinary, everyday, run-of-the-mill press release. It needs some pop, starting with a compelling headline. Then you need a unique selling proposition. Tell readers what makes your product or service different or unique from your competitors.

Read my article, How To Write A Press Release. It should help get you pointed in the right direction.

David Jackson

[Herman2]

Thanks for the feedback David..back to the drawing board.
How do I know when it's worthy to be submitted?

[David Jackson]

Thanks for the feedback David..back to the drawing board. How do I know when it's worthy to be submitted?

You're quite welcome, Herman. I'm here to help. As you make the changes that I suggested, just post the link to the news release here and I'll be happy to help you any way I can.

David Jackson

[CindyBrock]

I always like to stick with the acronym "FAB": Features, Advantages, Benefits.

Paragraph 1 - Features. For me, this is what sets this items/person/business apart from the others. Why is the opening of this business so unique for the area (best inventory, best location, best experience, etc.).

Paragraph 2 - Advantages. I wrap these inside a quote from the person/owner. If there were two stores side-by-side, what would the owner say is the #1 advantage for coming to his/her store vs. the store next door? It could be anything from lower prices, more staffing, longer hours, etc.

Paragraph 3 - Benefits. Spell out how this is going to benefit the reader. Again, if I choose to shop there, what benefit will I receive? Do I get a personal consultant, a home visit, or a discount if a I spend more than $5,000?

In your mind, become a prospective customer. What are the 3 things that you could read that would draw you to the business?

There are the free PR services that I use:

http://www.1888pressrelease.com/
http://www.prfree.com/
http://www.pr9.net/
http://www.pressmethod.com/
http://www.transworldnews.com/

For paid press releases, I use http://www.WebWire.com.

One final thing: keywords, keywords, keywords. Use them in the title as well as in each paragraph.

[David Jackson]

Thanks for the feedback David..back to the drawing board.

Hi Herman:

I'm following up to see how the press release is coming along. Just curious...

David Jackson

[premiumweb]

I had Cindy Brock (see her post above) write a press release for me recently and she did a great job! And for just $5 (she's running a special), what on earth do you have to lose?

Clickbank hasn't approved my price yet (emailed to say they could only do $150 and I said that's fine) so I haven't submitted it online yet. Here it is:

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PremiumWebMarketingOnline.com Offers 30-Day Program for Establishing a Profitable Online Business

ALBANY, GEORGIA – June 14, 2010 – With the sheer numbers of people who are turning their ideas and passions into online businesses, the percentage realizing true financial success is simply not as tremendous as one would think. That’s where this new 30-day program can help.

Glennette Goodbread, creator of “Marketing Your Online Business from Start to Profit” saw an overlooked need in spite of all the attention that online marketing is having today. “While some internet folks might be saying they’re having great success, I simply wasn’t hearing that same story from people. That’s why I developed this four-week program. It walks business owners through the process of starting or relaunching an online endeavor to reach the goals they have in mind,” Glennette shares. “While it’s not difficult to do for someone like myself who understands internet marketing, it can be very confusing – and frustrating – to those outside this arena.”

During the course of the “Marketing Your Online Business from Start to Profit” program, participants learn about four critical areas of internet marketing. These areas include building market awareness for their product or service, creating interest in what they offer, turning prospective customers into confirmed buyers, and establishing repeat business across their client or customer base.
The program fee of $150 includes four weekly email lessons and assignments that participants complete and submit for feedback. In addition, there are bonus materials such as checklists and worksheets along with personal access to Glennette throughout the 30 days. “Because I include so much interaction with the participants, I decided to limit the class size to 25 participants to ensure that everyone gets the focus and attention they need,” Glennette adds.

Enrollment is taking place now. The introductory program price of $150 is only valid through July 15, 2010. For more information and to register, visit http://www.premiumwebmarketingonline.com/profit.html.

Contact Information:
Name: Glennette Goodbread
Email: g@premiumwebdesign.com
Phone: 999-832-2542


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[Herman2]

Thanks for the feedback.
Please review the edited press release.
I'm not looking for perfection but a release that will expose the business to more customers and gain a few more backlinks for the website.

[David Jackson]

Please review the edited press release.
I'm not looking for perfection but a release that will expose the business to more customers and gain a few more backlinks for the website.

Herman, you're still way off track with this thing. Do this: Starting with the headline, I want to know what's in it for me? Where's the benefit to me?

In the body of the press release, I want to know what's in it for me? Again, where's the benefit to me? In addition, I want to know what makes your service better or different than your competitiors.

In other words, give me a compelling reason to care about your service. Because right now, I could care less. And that's not a good place for a press release to be.

David Jackson

[CindyBrock]

Hi Herman:

I say this with nothing but a sincere desire to help you: WHY ARE YOU STILL WASTING TIME ON THIS????

One of the basic things you need to understand as an entrepreneur is knowing when something is wasting your time. Why are you beating your head against the wall trying to figure this out? Do you want to be a writer who creates press releases? I'm guessing not. How much other business have you lost during the hours you've spent on this?

Let me just write the darn thing for you for $5. My email is cindy@cindybrock.com.