I'm sure you've been wondering why it's so quiet here at ClickNewz, and whether I ever made it back from vacation - or not. 😛 LOL I did make it back, and I had a wonderful (completely unplugged) 6-day vacation.
I returned a week ago Monday, in good condition even, but things went downhill from there. In fact, I'm not entirely sure where the last 10 days went at all. On my end, it felt like the last week or so crawled by at a snails pace, and disappeared into thin air at the speed of light, all at the same time.
Blame the vacation, the dog days of summer, the idea of being unplugged for that long (given it was my first true unplugging -ever!). Or maybe it's just life... and the typical highs & lows for us manic entrepreneurs. Whatever the case, I took it a step further and iced that cake with pure insanity: I quit smoking.
Yes, I was a smoker. 2+ packs a day for more than 20 years.
I quit on June 28th at 4pm, less than 48 hours before I left on vacation. That may seem crazy, but it seemed like a really good idea to me. And it worked. I knew that getting out of my usual environment and routine would be a great help in kicking the habit, and it was. I've now been smoke-free for 18 straight days.
That looks real pretty on the screen there in black & white: "I've been smoke-free for 18 days". The truth is, it's been pure torture and has accounted for several complete meltdowns. They come and go, with mini-meltdowns and long phases of BLAH in between. I can't sleep, I can hardly eat, and I feel like I'm in some kind of time warp. The other morning it took me 3 hours to get up and ready and out of the house - what normally takes just 45 minutes. I can't figure it out - I did everything the same as I normally do. Time just feels strangely slow at the moment.
Lifestyle Design: Creating A Life You Love
Why in the world would I put myself through this?? (I've been asking myself that every hour -lol) While I have a great life, one many might envy even, I am always in a constant state of growth & improvement.
I'm happier than I've ever been -in the grand scheme of things of course, not necessarily in this particular moment (duh- at this exact moment in time I feel like banging my head against the wall!). But happier or not, I haven't been 100% happy. In fact for most of 2009 I was fairly unhappy, and so I started this year with the intention of making serious changes.
It's much easier to sit around and complain about how things are, or wish things were different, than it is to step out and make real change.
Last year I did a lot of complaining and wishing. But I've learned that the louder that conversation gets in your head, the closer you are to stepping out of your comfort zone and starting the process of real change.
Change is hard. You have to leave your comfort zone -which is a truly nice comfy place, even if things within it are not necessarily positive. (We often lie to ourselves about how things really are, and convince ourselves it's actually fine. We don't even question the lies in our head, we just believe them.)
I miss my comfort zone. 🙁
In the last 6 months I've been changing my diet, started exercising regularly again, have been seeking out a church and other social groups, doubled my income, am finally settling in and making home in my new house, started dating someone seriously after a decade of single life, adopted a Great Dane pup... and finally, quit smoking.
A LOT of uncomfortable change. But it was that last one that did me in.
My whole world feels completely shattered at the moment, much like my poor little iPad. I'm in the process of putting all the pieces of my life back together. This time, the way I want them. Healthy, happy - and balanced.
Balance. That's a tough one. I think everyone struggles with it to some extent. In the process of quitting smoking, I've discovered that I'm obsessive to a fault. The reason I can't just smoke socially, or do anything in moderation really. Also the reason for my success in business, I'm sure. So at the moment I'm putting some serious thought into this (obsessively I'm sure) to figure out a solution. A balance. Between meltdowns, of course. Detox is harsh.
So that's where I am right now. Somewhere between two places, but definitely on the better side of the line. The fact that I published this blog post is proof - it only took me three days to write it... LOL.
Is it worth it? I'm sure it will be. Right now I feel like throwing myself off a bridge, but I'm holding strong and pushing hard to just get through this phase.
Habits and addictions are evil. -so is complacency.
Positive change doesn't come easy. Whether it's quitting smoking, losing weight, creating a successful business, changing your lifestyle, whatever - it's hard work. You can't get the highs without the lows, though. You either make the sacrifice, go all in... or stay happily unhappy.
Onward and upward...
Best,
p.s. Earlier today I ordered the Canon Vixia SF20 mentioned in my last blog post about podcasting. It should arrive on Tuesday (7/21). I figure that will give me something new & fun to focus on, and help me get back on track with the series 🙂
About Lynn Terry
Lynn you are an inspiration. I picked up a book this week to read by Bruce Wilkinson titled Secrets of the Vine Breaking Through to Abundance. I would encourage you to get a copy. It is a quick read and very fitting for all you are going through.
The author of the book explains how a Vinedressor tends to a grape vine to make it produce as much fruit as it can. Our untamed eye might think that a lush beautiful vine full of leaves would produce much fruit, unfortunately that is not the case. In order for a vine to produce the best fruit in abundance it has to be pruned. The pruning process takes away the extra stuff that often crowds the vine and keeps it from reaching its full potential. Once the extra is removed the vine now is able to produce the best fruit.
I think you and I both are going through this pruning process. It is painful at times and down right cruel but so worth it to think that we both will be better for it. I know that this time is short term because in Jeremiah 29:11 it says that "For I know the plans I have for you, plans to prosper you and not to harm you but to give you a hope and a future." He is in the process of getting us where He wants us to be.
Keep up the good work and thank you for being transparent!
Thank you so much Lesli - great points and very uplifting. I will definitely check out the book. I just ordered several others that sound like they may be on the same topic. Reading will be a good new habit to bring back into my daily routine - I've missed it. Speaking of, I'm really enjoying the book you gave me and am reading it nightly. Great timing! I appreciate you 😉
Lynn, good luck with your smoking. I quit many years ago and haven't had one since. It was very, very hard. They key is to not have even one cigarette... ever.
It get's better with time, but I still get the occasional urge.
I also learned that once you have food and a roof over your head... money does not bring happiness. Sharing life's experiences with other is what brings the most joy out of life.
Well done! Really really well done! When I hear the term "comfort zone" I imagine a huge squashy armchair that's really hard to get out of .. except that after a while your back starts to ache and you get fidgety and then you realise it's not quite so comfortable after all and you're BORED.
Just 3 more days and the all the "detox" stuff will be over and you'll be smoke-free and loving it. Breeeeathe - you're doing just great 🙂
Thank you Isobel 🙂 Confession though: I am using the nicotine patch. I was actually using the patch prior, and wearing it about a third of the time AND smoking 2 packs a day. I used it as a clean alternative when smoking wasn't appropriate or convenient - not as a means of quitting (until now).
So I still have a ways to go with the detox. I saw a hypnotist this week, and plan to go back next week for a follow-up session. That was a great help also. Particularly with relaxation & focus...
I was smoking 3 - 4 packs a day when I decided to give up. I wanted to use TWO patches because I didn't think one would work! The pharmacist made me promise that I would only use one or she wouldn't sell it to me lol. During my third day the patch fell off and I didn't even notice, so I decided it was a waste of time and never put it back.
Consider this: when you smoked, every night you slept for 6, 7 or 8 hours without waking every 30 mins for a smoke. If your body was really THAT addicted to nicotine, you couldn't have done that. Our minds are SO powerful, much more so than our bodies.
Allen Carr "The Easy Way to Give Up Smoking" is a fantastic book and it definitely changed something in me. Hypnotism is also fantastic and acupuncture helps a lot of people too. Whatever it takes, it's worth it! 🙂
I would like to recommend to you The Schwarzbein Principle. http://sn.im/schwarzbein It is a diet program that has been shown to help things like depression -- and smoking cessation. I used the guidelines in the book as part of the program that I used to lose over 100 lbs.
Thank you, I'll check that out.
Well, you've helped me out, long time ago... I got your first Super Affiliate Handbook way back when. Unfortunately, I didn't start putting what I learned to good use until recently, because I was more or less satisfied with my job. Now, however, I can clearly see that I'm not going to have an adequate retirement without some passive income, so I'm *finally* getting down to IM.
BTW, the guy in the next cubicle has found you to be extremely attractive, and told me that he wants some of whatever you are selling 🙂
LOL I'm not selling anything - and tell him the plumber beat him to it! 😛 ha
How are things going with your online business??
You know Lynn... I have been following your blog for the past few years and I have to applaud you. I have always felt like you have raised the bar in IM when no one else would.
You have been an inspiration to many people. And I respect all the changes that you have taken head on.
Like you said "Habits and addictions are evil. -so is complacency."
I appreciate the fact that even though you may be feeling blah, you will push through. 🙂
You are in our prayers... Keep up the great work Lynn!
Thank you Paul! I heard that Michel Fortin recently quit smoking as well. I'll have to check out his blog and see what he has to say about it from this end. I have avoided any talk of the subject up to this point, but I think I'm at a good enough place with it now to venture over...
Having never been a smoker, I can only sympathize! I have seen friends go through it and know that it can be hard, but I also know it can be done.
I wish more people would understand lifestyle design as you do. Finding that place where you feel whole and balanced is what it is all about. It isn't about travel, or making a million dollars, it is about balance!
Lynn,
You can do anything you put your mind to. You've already proven that.
Jeff
So true. I've traveled. Made money. Done all kinds of things. Woke up and realized I was still unhappy. Sad in a way, but good. Making all kinds of positive change in my quest to figure out that perfect combination that equals true happiness...
Congratulations on your changes. Thanks for the inspiration, as I am in the process of making positive changes that are feeling reaaaaaally uncomfortable. Letting go of of being comfortable for me means learning to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. Thanks for your honesty and sharing.
I have traveled the same road (both the smoking and the work/life balance). Conquered the smoking over 4 years ago but still searching for the balance.
When my business took off I was happy at first, but it soon went downhill. More money then I ever had but no life or happiness to equal things out.
I have cut out much of the workload I had, but I still seem to be missing something. That balance part is the biggest challenge in the grand scheme of things.
When you figure it out let us all know!
Hey Tom,
What's it like on the other side? Are you glad you quit smoking? Do you miss it every single day, or did that eventually go away? Just curious what your feelings are on that...
Lynn,
Yea I'm glad. I had smoked for about 17 years. I was tired of the act itself. Though I enjoyed the first smoke of the day, by the evening I was just going through the motions.
To be honest, 95% of the "urge" left around day 28. Within another month after that 99.5% of the urge was gone.
I have no urge at all now. The interesting thing I discovered about myself was the "habit itself" was driving my smoking.
I was more addicted to the "belief" that I needed a smoke. I mean, every 20 minutes it was time to smoke! Not really because of a craving need for nicotine, but because that was just "what I did".
Once I realized what I was really addicted to, walking away became easier.
Hope that helps.
Wow Lynn- That is quite a list of changes! I am guessing one that had you written them all down before hand like a grocery list would have seemed entirely impossible. You had set goals and tackled each of them and look what you have to show for it. BRAVO! I can tell you that the feelings of euphoria will return when you can stand on top of the mountain and look back at what you just climbed. When you say to yourself, "I did that." It feels pretty dang good!! It was like the first time I had decided that I was going to try and run a half-marathon, and I am NO runner. I didn't think I would be able to do it at first but just kept putting one foot in front of the other. After 3 months of training and incrementally upping the miles it started to look achievable. Once I actually crossed that finish line and knew I had just put 13.1 miles behind me, was extremely gratifying. You just ran a full marathon of sorts and should be very proud of yourself! Congrats!
Lynn, you are all kinds of awesome.
I'm going through some dietary and medical changes right now, and I know how hard they can be. I've never smoked, so I don't know what you're going through, but I can tell you that the changes you've made are almost superhuman.
I've seen your drive and determination over the years at Clicknewz, so I know you can do this.
As a very wise person once told me, when you take an action, or are feeling like backsliding, ask yourself "Does this get you closer to your goal, or further away from it?"
I've used that as my mantra many times, and it's helped me be strong several times, so I hope I can return the favor to you.
Yes, that person was you!
Hey Lynn I am new to your Forum and IM. I discovered you through the IMTW podcast. It is always interesting. I am learning a ton reading through your post and articles. My wife owns a florist and I have built her website http://www.dbjflowers.com and am working on a shopping cart for it. (hopefully on line by next week).
It is great to read someone that takes the high road in SEO and IM.
Congratulations on quitting smoking. I quit almost 25 years ago and it was the hardest thing personally I think that I ever did. BUT IT Is WORTH it and anyone that has accomplished all that you have can do it. Hang in there.
PS
Sorry for such a long first post
You're so awesome Lynn. Thanks for being so vulnerable with everyone. I'm thinking about The Power of Full Engagement that we've both read, making a massive life change like quitting smoking engages so much of your physical and emotional energy you just can't give much of it elsewhere and it's good to give yourself the freedom to just get through this.
I'm glad Angie's coming to help you!
Aaaawwww Lynn hang in there! Did you read all those GREAT changes you made in just 6 months? Don't be so hard on yourself, you'll get through it. Know that we're here to support you just as you have supported us.
Now lemme go find a stop-smoking info. product that I can become an affiliate for LOL just kidding 😉
Lynn, thank you so much for this post. I've been a 2 pack-a-day smoker for 40 years. For years my family has been after me to quit because of a family history of strokes. When my husband quit 2 years ago I promised him I would too, but never did.
2 days I went to the doctor. Within 15 minutes of arriving I was hooked to an EKG and IV and being transported by ambulance to the hospital because I was in what's referred to as "hypertensive crisis". My blood pressure was so high that the monitor in the doctor's office couldn't register it. What's even more scary is that's not the reason I went to the doctor and had no idea my blood pressure was that elevated.
Of course I was ordered to stop smoking, by the doctor and my family. I'm using the weekend to mentally prepare myself for it and have set Monday as my quit date. It will help to know I'm not going through it alone.
Best wishes to you Lynn and I look forward to the day when we can both refer to ourselves as "an ex-smoker".
Sharon McPherson
a.k.a. The Fuller Brush Girl
November 7th, 1994...I had gotten so sick in the lungs, that the stuff I was coughing up was, let's just say, gross to the extreme.
I dropped my last cigarette that day, quit cold turkey, and haven't lit up since. For about the first 3 weeks it was a nerve-wracking, anxiety-filled experience riddled with weird dreams and eating habits.
But I did it.
Lynn, a heartfelt congratulations for doing it, remember the date (you will), and take to heart these 2 ideas:
1) It only gets better from here. Each day that goes by will separate you from that awful stuff.
2) Every time you think about lighting up:
--> Think about all the wasted effort you've already put into making your health like 100 times better if you go back to smoking.
You're successfully quitting smoking Lynn, you're gonna make it my friend! 🙂
You ARE an ex-smoker, don't go back to the "dark side", LOL 🙂
--Joseph Ratliff
Great job, Lynn! You'll make it. Change is never easy and now you're dealing with one of the toughest changes out here. But you're capable of this one.
You never to cease to amaze me Lynn. Of course I admire your work ethic, your determination, your success, and many other traits, but what amazes me...really amazes me, is your genuine honesty, vulnerability, and transparency. Somehow, you always make life seem, at least to me, not nearly as crazy as I thought it was moments before. All this because you choose to share so many parts of your life with us. You actually admit to being a human being, not just a super marketer extraordinaire. And my guess is, your giving and generosity will continue to bless you a thousandfold!!
Congrats on the smoking. I have never smoked, but Kelli quit, twice, at my request. There were many times I think she would rather have just killed me :-), but we both made it through safely! lol. She does always say that the craving doesn't go away for her. but I hope it does for you..
Thank goodness you have that big hunky man and cutie pie dog to help you through, just in case the kids and your adoring fans weren't enough! Looks like you're well on your way to a little lifestyle reshaping. Now its my turn to follow suit.
See you in August!!
AM
CONGRATS on taking the first steps toward smoke-freedom. Hang in there -- one day at a time, as they say -- and you'll get stronger each time you don't give in to the urge. I quit on 8/13/01 (yes, you *will* remember the date) after about 30 years of heavy smoking, and it's truly one of the best things I've ever done for myself.
I was assisted *immensely* by the American Lung Association's online "Freedom From Smoking" program and message boards. The program helps you build strategies and systems for the process (and it *is* a process rather than an event), and the message board was a good place to connect with other folks in the same boat. As I progressed in my quit, reaching out to encourage newbies kept me accountable and reinforced my satisfaction with the positive aspects of the change.
BTW, I also used the Nicorette inhaler for a year or so, mostly when I was around smokers. It gave me something similar to do with my hands/mouth and helped quell the temptation to bum "just one." (You're no doubt aware that "just one" is BS -- I remain to this day "a puff away from two packs a day.")
Sorry to type your eyes out, Lynn, but I never miss an opportunity to encourage smoke-freedom. I always read your blog in my Reader, but I wanted to click through tonight to say, "Way to go! Keep going!"
First off, CONGRATULATIONS LYNN!
Secondly, could I suggest moving your office into a different room, or changing something significantly about your home office environment? Maybe move the furniture around so you're facing a different direction. Maybe buying a new chair that feels completely different. Anything to make it a different experience, so that your brain doesn't hit that "Oh, I'm at the smoking spot now, let's turn on the urge to light up" trigger.
That is, if you smoked at your desk. (2 packs/day, I'm betting you did.) If not, look for some small change you can make in your routine to avoid those light-up triggers.
Best of luck to you on continuing to be a non-smoker.
You're not a smoking quitter (negative), you're a non-smoker (positive). Think positively!
Hi Lynn,
I am not so great with words but just really wanted to make a comment..
As you always tell us taking small steps everyday will get you nearer your goals. I personally admire you for being one of those people that truly do what you teach and share your ups and downs along the way.
You have stepped out of your comfort zone to change somethings in your life; that alone will bring more positive things to you. Well done though it's NEVER easy.
Having been in a very similar place to where you are now with health, personal relationships, being the independant single mum for a very long time, changes certainly can feel very strange at times! I truly can relate to how it can all build up inside and give such surreal feelings.
I always read your posts and appreciate your great insights not only in the IM world but in life in general and it helps me everyday in taking my own steps out of my comfort zone.
I truly send you a 'good on ya' keep going at it and you will suceed in your personal goals as you have done so well in your business ones. An when it feels at it worse just accept it remembering that 'This to shall pass' as a good friend once quoted to me 🙂
Keep smiling 🙂 god bless
Have a great weekend Lynn
Lynn,
I really appreciate your candor, this really helped bring a lot of things back into perspective for me, particularly the simple statement "Creating a life you love". I have a lifestyle that I want to lead - but have yet to think about it from a CREATION aspect.
But anyways...I'm not a smoker, so I can't relate to that struggle, but I'm certain it will prove itself to be one of those "this too shall pass" moments in life.
After thirty plus years of regularly drinking far too much alcohol, and after much introspection, I realized that my life had gone very far off my desired course. I came to the honest conclusion that I must not Love myself very much if I would do that to me. It wasn't easy to stop drinking but not that difficult at the same time because of that realization.
I finally quit drinking after I made the decision to Love myself more and I even Love myself more as a result because I don't drink alcohol any longer. It's become self fulfilling.
Bless your heart Lynn and Thank You for all that you do for us!!
Hi Lynn - In 1969 on June 4th, I quit smoking two packs a day. Laid them down. I was in love, and he was allergic. In 1978, stressed, I had a cigarette with a friend over coffee. Two packs a day months later, I found out I was pregnant in Dec '79. I quit, cold turkey, and never looked back. I was crushed to learn that my offspring started to smoke in college. "I quit for you~!" I scream. A dr friend told me that within 20 seconds of inhaling the jagged particles reach your fingertips, cutting the arteries all the way, creating scar tissue. This scar tissue will heal over time, tho, if you quit. That was nice to know.
At age 40, I cried the whole day of my birthday, not where I wanted to be in life at all. But no cigarettes . Now I can breathe the fresh clean air and walk without huffing (most of the time), and I am so glad I quit all those years ago. With faith and persistance I am in a much better place in my life. The chaos between comfort zones can be unnerving, but one of my favorite movies is TWISTER, so I guess it can be refreshing, too. Blessings on your journey~! Pam
Wow, Lynn! I'm a regular reader and this post is so personal and touching but also uplifting for you on so many levels. I can only imagine how hard it must be for you going through smoking withdrawals. My mother-in-law quit cold turkey 6 months ago (still smoke-free) and she has never looked and felt better. You're on your way. Keep up all the positives in your life :).
Janette
You guys are absolutely amazing. Your stories are so encouraging - thank you so much for sharing them. I've absorbed every detail of every one, and they really give me hope. But most of all, they remind me that I am not alone in this and that it can be done. THANK YOU.
This painful process has been an incredible learning experience. Not a pleasant one (ha!) but definitely powerful. Some random thoughts while they're on my mind...
- Don't be a slave to anything or anyone
- Don't settle for less than reaching your full potential
- Don't wait until you are forced to change, start now
- Look for balance. MAKE it happen.
- Never stop trying or improving
These are things I am constantly telling myself through all of this. And it is helping, immensely.
You know, there are people out there that are completely content with a 3-bedroom brick house, a steady job, dinner and TV every evening, 2 kids and a white picket fence. I'm not one of those people. I've always known that, and I've often envied them even. But I know that I am not going to be happy 'sitting still'. I want more. And so balance for me, and balance for you, and balance for everyone else... won't be the same thing. We have to figure out what it's going to take for us, individually, and then achieve it.
And while I'm thinking of it - a big THANK YOU!! to Lesli for the perfect book at the perfect time, which is forcing me into a new habit of reading daily for 40 straight days. Creating new routines (to replace old ones) has been especially hard, so this was perfect. 😀
Lynn,
I am going to mail you the other book I mentioned. It is very fitting. Take care and keep it up. Lesli
You're great! I look forward to reading it. 😀
It will slowly but surely get better in regards to the urge to smoke. Just hang in there
Lynn,
It might help to know that I quit smoking September 21, 1971 at 2PM. Just the fact that I still remember the exact date and time is a little revealing . . . I really enjoyed smoking, and it felt like I had lost a friend. I never realized how many of my activities were scheduled around smoking--especially coffee and eating. I just want to join with the others and encourage you, and I want to let you know that I see you, and I hear you, and I love and admire you. The road gets easier, but as long as you just never put a cigarette in your mouth again, you will make it. I used to think it was--just as long as I did not lite up again, but I learned that it really boils down to your being a great mom to yourself--just like you are to your kids--and make only one long-term rule: "I will never put a cigarette in my mouth again." Hugs and Congratulations! ShariLee
That is EXACTLY how I felt when I quit (I posted about it below). Congrats
Lynn,
Thanks for sharing. Sometimes its one minute at a time. I have been living one day at a time for 7 years now. It gets easier but it is never easy. Hang in there and don't be so hard on yourself for taking some time for yourself. Enjoy the moment. I struggle with this as well and it is a lot easier telling other people to do this stuff then doing it yourself but working together is the key to recovery.
Lynn,
Your putting your truth out there in this article is just great! My whole life has been an inner journey to become an authentic "me." Being willing to go inward as you are doing to create more harmony and wholeness within. It has enabled me to heal many conflicts & like myself so much better and be comfortable with who I really am...it's powerful stuff that demands the best from you! Crashes & all the roadblocks you discussed are part of the process of becoming more of YOU! This is what makes you so attractive to all of us who follow you! You are a real gift to us all!
Good job on breaking through the inertia to build something better!
Holy crap, Lynn! I quit smoking on January 1, 2004. I plastered those patches from head to toe. I remember one day I was so insane I came shockingly close to throwing a chair out a plate-glass window. I'll never forget that feeling - pure rage. The reason? I just wanted a damn cigarette. It was THAT bad.
The rage lasted about a month. The daily urges lasted about six months. Today, I don't think about it much but I'd be lying if I said I was "cured".
I have a theory about us. I consider myself a smoker to this day - however, I'm a smoker that doesn't smoke. After smoking for 20 years, there is no way I could ever seriously call myself a "non-smoker". I'm a smoker tried and true. I loved my cigarettes and I felt totally weird and incompetent without them.
Today, I'm still weird but I'm a competent smoker who no longer smokes. And SO ARE YOU! Competent, I mean - not weird. 🙂
HANG IN THERE YOU WILL WIN THIS BATTLE!
Annie
Great to have you back, Lynn!
I have heard that it can be a real challenge to stop smoking. My friend stopped smoking months ago and she told she feels like she's walking in some kind of "brain fog". That must be all your brain chemicals trying to find a new balance! 😉
I happened to surf Amazon yesterday and found the following gadget that might help you when you feel nervous and don't know what to do with your hands: a powerball hand gyroscope people use for exercising their wrists and arms - http://www.amazon.com/Dynaflex-Pro-Plus-Wrist-Exerciser/dp/B000LRE01M/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=hpc&qid=1279438810&sr=1-1
Someone wrote that handling the ball is fun and addictive and it might be good for people trying to stop smoking. You could give it to your children when you don't need it anymore... 😀
Brava Lynn!!
I agree with Annie Binns: I'm a smoker that doesn't smoke. I smoked for ten years, then I stopped, I resisted twelve years, then I begun again for other ten years, then I stopped again. But I still desire to smoke and I know very well that the first cigarette I will smoke will be the first of a long series. Never, never bring a cigarette near your lips again!
Hey Lynn,
I've been quietly following you for awhile now. You're a great inspiration to me, even if I'm slow to implement.
I quit smoking April 2, 2001, after smoking for MANY years. The decision came because smoking no longer fit the rest of my lifestyle. I'd skulk around in health food stores, embarrassed that healthy people could smell cigarettes on me. Had to get rid of the incongruency.
Yes, about once a year, I still think hmmm, wouldn't mind one. But, as my 'quit smoking' mentor told me over and over again, 'one puff WILL hurt", and, knowing myself too well, will never try a puff again.
You are such a strong, action oriented woman, I've NO doubt in my mind you will be successful.
Hope to meet you in person some day.
Hi Lynn,
Wow, I was reading your post and thinking how I sit feeling stressed, quickly firing my way through 2 packets of cigarettes or near enough every day. Reading between the lines, Im feeling the need, almost a physical crutch, holding on to those nasty smokes because well frankly...
They are so damn reliable! Always there and when eveything else is in meltdown, when business is down, the dog hasn't been walked in days and your under pressure Mr Nico Tine is right there.
Maybe Im hiding and I can really empathise with your comment about time passing more slowly ( thats a good thing NO?) Its inspiring to know you have bitten the bullet, made some big changes and are sticking to your guns.
Good on ya
Mark
P.S. Im looking at a packet right now and I feel a slave! Your doing the right thing
oh Lynn how i totally relate to your words....
'You know, there are people out there that are completely content with a 3-bedroom brick house, a steady job, dinner and TV every evening, 2 kids and a white picket fence. I’m not one of those people. I’ve always known that, and I’ve often envied them even. But I know that I am not going to be happy ’sitting still’
It was just last night I was thinking this about myself..I was having a melt down and thinking would my life of been easier if I could settle for what others seems to be quite happy having..but that is not me!
I too sometimes look at my friends who have always seen me as a bit 'outside the box' and envied them for it, but I to always want to move and challenge myself; don't want to sit still either 🙂
I am at a place right now with doing just that and due to the place I am in right now it is a big uphill struggle, and I sometimes wonder why I cant just settle! But it's not me! I accepted that for a long time but right now don't feel I am.
I will be 40 soon and have managed to find one other friend in my life who is the same way as me and who truly gets me, and it is the only thing that sometimes keeps me sane ha ha 😉 I have some other good friends but we quietly accept our 'big' differences in our wants/needs because as you say we all have our differences and I get and respect that.
But Lynn your post and replies have made me smile in a way. You put the words down I am thinking especially when this last week or two I have been having a melt down (why I won't go into you have enough to deal with) but addiction I get believe me, but breaking a habit..why as humans do we find it so hard to break a habit ESPECIALLY when its not even good for us?
As I tell my friend who has been in bad relationship for 5 years and has wanted to leave for four of them and does not understand herself why she stays...you CAN become happy in misery cause it feels so much easier than to change it!
Funny though the general rule is people would rather be unhappy (like my friend) for 5 years or more than be unhappy for just a few weeks while they make the break..those darn bad habits!
It truly is that we think that stepping out of our comfort zone will be worse, uncomfortable or scary but it is doing that; that makes us different from others. Getting us those things we want in life which in the long run brings inner happiness and a confidence in ourselves to keep on pushing our limits.
I hope each day gets better for you now Lynn and reading is great to get lost in...that reminds me I should go do some.
Have a nice day 🙂
Mel
Lynn, that's your best post I've ever read. I prayed for strength for you and for humility to ask for help when u need it. You can do it!
Hey Lynn, jsut need to say good luck with the smoke free days it isn't easy by far. Sometimes stepping out of your comfort zone allows you to asses things a lot more in depth should you need to. Evaluate the situation and if one's passionate enough about knowing where they are and what they want to achieve next, they'l make the changes. Great post thanks for sharing with us, good luck.
WOW Lynn....
thanks for opening up and showing us your human side.
I like the "church" part too.
Congrats on being smoke free! Celebrate each and every day you remain smoke free! I've been smoke free since 2002 and my husband now since last year. Best decision ever!
Nice job quitting the smokes. And going all vacation with Internet usage. I went down to St Lucia and was in the business center at least once a day if not twice.
Lynn - I soooo know the feeling. I actually can remember the very last cig I smoked over 6 years ago when I quit. I can even STILL TASTE IT and yes, I quit 6 years ago.
I was a 1.5 pack a day Newport smoker and I loved it! I loved the taste, I loved how it immediately calmed me, picked me up.. it did JUST whatever I needed it to do. When I quit well... I was a total B**** (and thats putting it mildly). I couldnt take a sip of ANY alcohol for 6 months after quitting because the taste of it would makee me want to RUN to the nearest store to snatch up a pack. It was the HARDEST thing I ever did. Yup harder than labor, harder than all 4 wisdom teeth being pull.. it was HARD but I promise you.. it is so worth the struggle. Foods will taste so much better to you.. I know you are probably rollign your eyes...lol but trust me.. you will see it all differently when you get to the "OTHER SIDE" of this addiction.
Funny thing.. I was out on Saturday dancing with friends and on my way outside I actually stood NEXT to a smoker just to smell it (hee hee). I told the smoker what I was doing and we both had a good laugh about it. He admitted to being afraid to even try to kick the habit because of how hard he knows it will be. Yes, it is THAT hard.. but so worth it. Your health, your mind, your body everything just turns around for the better the longer you go without it.
Keep up the great work and I love that you are so *real* about it all!
I knew that you were making changes, but I didn't realize HOW MANY changes you made this year until you listed it all out there. WOW! All I can say is WOW. I think if I made that many changes my family would have me committed to the loony bin within a week -lol-
Kudos to you for making all those changes and for finally allowing yourself some time off! You definitely deserved that well earned break and I am so glad to see in your vacation pictures that you had a good time and enjoyed yourself 🙂
I love how you threw that "doubled my income" in the middle there like it was nothing important, that's a huge accomplishment in itself and mixed in with all those other things makes it that much more impressive to me.
Haven't read all the comments, so don't know if it has already been said, but I recommend taking some Yoga classes to reach a new state of relaxation. It has helped me cure some other stuff and I am seeing things in a different way today compared before I started this. I know that some people inmy class also were heavy smokers and they reported that the longing for a smoke has vanished pretty soon after they started relaxation practices.
Anyway, I wish you good luck in getting rid of your habit all the best for a healthier life!
Lyn- if this helps-
I have distinct memory of sitting in passenger seat with Mommy driving. She pulls into the parking lot of Kentucky Fried Chicken. I have no recollection of acts or verbage prior to this...
I recall that I then turned and said to her
"Well Mom, if it is THAT bad, just start smoking again."
KFC is now a symbol of her strength: but, she says she still misses it
(even though we are not best friends, I wanted to tell you that-obviously it gets easier, but you have to remember your body wants nicotine ;-))
I believe in you.
ridgely
I so feel for you! I am going to have to enter that course of painful withdrawal soon myself, and not because I want to. The state of New York has raised the cigarette tax again to the tune of $10 for one pack. They have also banned buying them on the Indian reservations, for 75% less. I have made the decision to refuse to pay anymore outrageous NY taxes except for what I have to by law. As soon as I run out of what I have on hand, it will be my turn in the barrel and I am not looking forward to it! I have managed to cut down to 1/2 a pack a day, but it is a far cry from 0 a day.LOL
My thoughts and sympathies are with you and I will let you know when it is my turn to enter the realms of hell.
OH how I admire you. I am a smoker and have been trying to stop this year too. I know have terribly hard it is. Going cold turkey is the hardest way to stop but usually the most effective. I too am on the road to changes. A healthier lifestyle, one that is not so obsessive...I am so much like you in that regard.
Best of luck in your continued road to a healthy, happy life. And, a big thank you for all the information you share with us that helps us to keep on the road to a better life.
Way to go, Lynn!!! I had noticed you were missing but it's good to hear you are creating lots of new content through life experiences!?!?!
Change is hard, but wishing and nothing happening gets worse!
I have the same problem as yours Lynn, and I actually don't think I can start changing my working habits (which includes heavy smoking). Perhaps, I also need that "vacation". Anyway, I really felt comfortable reading this entry (just made feel I'm not alone with this situation). We are not getting any younger, and I mostly think of what would be my condition after all the hard work and with all the waste I've stuffed my body. Will it be all worth it to compensate my body's future needs?
It's really best to take some time apart from what we are used to, to have a better picture of what we really want in our life in the future (physically and financially). I know that balance is missing in my life at the moment, seeing as work really requires lots of time in making things really happen, and with not enough time to rest and be serious with my own diet (which I don't really mind). Thanks for sharing great stuffs here, I learned something valuable and I can say worth it 🙂
Regards and good luck as well.
Jason
When I was 10 my cousin found a pack of cigarettes... We were used to seeing all the cool kids smoking - so we each got one, lit them, and inhaled simultaneously....... OMG! It was horrible! We coughed for almost a minute and vowed never to smoke again. Now the funny part - they were CAMEL UNFILTERED CIGARETTES LOL! Luckily, I never picke-up the habbit, unfortunately, I decided to eat instead LOL!
Contratulations Lyn, You should know that the actual Nicotine detox takes just 3 days... the rest is psychological! So my advice is NOT to fight it, just OBSERVE your feeling and do the right thing - one day at a time. That's what I'm doing with my weight loss. I'm just eating right and exercising (forming new habits) - and just like I put on the weight (slowly), I'm taking it off.
Hey Lynn, hang in there as long as you can, it is so worth it. BTW, my Mom smoked for over 50 years when she quit. Want to know how she did it? She was diagnosed with lung cancer, emphysema, and a blood clot in her lung all the same time. Good times.
But thanks for this blog post, it has a great message of getting out of our comfort zones for success, something I need to work on.
Stay strong,
Susan